A few months ago, my husband left me. He became angry one evening, packed, and left. Just like that. I didn't see it coming. I certainly wasn't prepared for what would come next...
You see, in this day and age of social media, things like divorce take on a whole new dimension of horrible. With Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat (need I go on), we live in glass houses. Our whole world is on display. So, something as simple as a relationship change can send shock waves quickly through cyberspace to family and friends. Aunts you never talk to suddenly know your personal gossip in detail. Business associates cringe as they scroll through your personal drama. Church family read and weep.
I know. I watched it all happen, first hand. Believe me, this new millennium of technology can be a cold wasteland on the wrong day. It was clear, I was having my day of humiliation.
At the time, I did the only thing I knew to do. I used the settings feature on my smart lil' iphone to block him. I did the same on Facebook, as well. Then, I went to sleep alone. By morning, it was clear that I made a good choice in blocking him. From the accounts told by many of my friends and family, he enjoyed his time without me and posted often. He was dating within a week and quickly changed his status to announce his relationship with another woman, even before our divorce was signed a short, two months later.
Again, ripples were sent through my family and friends.
I've forgiven my exhusband since then. I wish him well. I know most think me crazy after the hell he put me through, especially the online embarrassment, but the experience brought me to a new peace in my life. I believe when hard times hit us, we are faced with a choice - we can either learn from our mistakes and get better, or we can let the rough times wear us down and make us bitter.
I choose better over bitter any day. Here is my testimony.
When faced with divorcing amidst a world of social media, try these three steps. They got me through:
- Block without remorse.
- Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
- Remember His words: "Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10 ).
I know it seems too simple to be true, but it works. I am proof.
You see, divorce in and of itself is a humbling experience. It is quite a blow to your ego when you discover the person you are married to no longer chooses you. Many react in negative manners; running out into other relationships, turning to drugs or alcohol, or sinking into a state of angry, as I like to call it, 'Bittertude'. You know - Bitter solitude. It is not a good place.
By why go there? Being humbled is not as bad as it seems. In our most humbled state, we hear the whispers of our good Lord more clearly. In the Bible, Peter reminds us,
"And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, so that in due time He may exalt you. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5: 5-6).
It's true. Humility can be a very comforting place. Even in the midst of social embarrassment like the kind felt when our weaknesses are posted for the world to see, we can submit ourselves humbly to the will of God and let the chips fall as they may. That is what I did. I found myself on my knees and praying more earnestly than I ever had before. When I felt out of control and didn't know where the next dollar would come from, the Holy Spirit would remind me to relax and be still. Each and every time, a prayer was answered. Whether it was a light bill or a tank of gas or just the warm gesture of a caring friend, some blessing would come my way, and a prayer would always be answered.
More importantly, this entire experience has allowed me to witness to others in ways I never could have before. My humiliation became my testimony and I learned, I am not alone. I also learned that without a test, we've got no testimony.
This is my testimony. Keep up the faith. God is good.
Blessings, Gator
My Five Minute Life.
I hope to Steem my way through. Follow my story @gatorlynne.
i am not a god person. but i like to think i am not prejudice to those that are. i feel your spirit and strength. i appreciate the honesty and vulnerability in your post. and that to me matters most.
these life blows.... that come at some point to everyone....can be taken as woe is me and spiral downward...or can be seen as opportunity.
Opportunity to shift and open in new and unexpected ways. it is hard to see a death or health issue or divorce as an opportunity...but it is if we allow it to be. my feel from your post is that you move in that direction...and i wish you love, light and growth on that journey. the best things we become often start from the worst things that happen to us in this life. Amen...hehe.
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your honesty and openmindedness. I have never been one to speak openly about my beliefs but this experience has truly moved me in ways I never imagined and so I felt this would be the time to start. You stated it so eloquently when you said life blows can be a woe or an opportunity. That is exactly how I feel. I wish you many blessings on your journey, as well!
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@gatorlynne your story uplifted me in so many ways on how strong you are as a person & you are one example on showing how great a person could be by forgiving someone despite the impact they made in your life. I wish you nothing but the best for you in your next chapters in life. :)
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Thank you so much. I struggled with the forgiveness but once I gave in and let the anger go, I felt much better. And, yes, I recommend better over bitter in all circumstances! Thanks for the commentary. Blessings!
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I am so sorry to hear about that. Certainly one of the toughest things people go through. And even adding the the aspect of social media airing everything out. But to hear your response to it is absolutely amazing.
I pray that position of your heart will not only stay with you but grow even stronger. People can be humiliated but still not take the opportunity to humble themselves. They still let their pride make decisions. When we start to learn to humble ourselves on our own is when we create fertile ground in our hearts the Lord to work.
Yes, without a test there is no testimony. Without a battle there is no victory. The bigger the battle the bigger the victory. Hoping and praying that the best is yet to come for you!
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Thank you so much for your comment. Yes, we do need to create fertile ground in our hearts. Hearing your reminder brought me to tears, good tears, of comfort and understanding. Many thanks and blessings! I pray that you will continue to use your voice in this community to witness to others. I believe the Lord leads us to places like Steem for good reason. I come on my knees. Blessings.
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