A few weeks ago, I had quite an eye-opening experience. During the last lesson of that specific day, I noticed that one of the girls seemed very occupied with something else, other than what I discussed in class. At first I ignored this and just continued talking. I am a naturally curious person, and I knew that I had to find out what was wrong, and this girl, (let's call her Leah) was normally a good student...but something was visibly wrong.
I asked Leah to stay after class so that I could have a chat with her. She seemed a bit reluctant to stay but at the end agreed and even managed to force a little smile. After everyone left the class, I pulled up a chair and sat with her. I am usually very convincing to get information from students, but it took me a while to get her to talk. I assured her that whatever bothered her could not be so bad and that she will overcome this. Then she spilled the beans....
She's pregnant. Fifteen years old. Lives with her single mother, and the father of the baby could not be bothered (just as you would expect of a fifteen year old boy) I was stunned. I am not going into details here, but I promised her that I would think about how I could help her and she promised that she would not take any drastic steps without discussing this with me and her mother. I even discussed this with the mom, and so far the mom- although initially shocked- seems willing to help. Fortunately it is still early days and there is still much to talk and think about.
I was stunned but then I started to wonder. At what age did this child become sexually active? I am usually very open-minded but I have never really thought about this. I have always prayed that my own children would make the right choices and so far so good.
My honest opinion about today's teenagers, is that they are so easily exposed to sex everywhere. On television and on YouTube. Because of the day and age we live in, if a child wants to know something and his parents are not willing to discuss with him/her the best way out is to go search the internet. Just do yourself a favor, and type in Porn videos in your browser. Very scary!!!
Society is truly to blame for how this world is turning out. Everything is acceptable these days and the normal moral standards and values are just thrown overboard. Young children are allowed to go on dates from a young age, and I have heard more than once a parent saying" Aaahhh it is so cute...this is her first date.." Let me tell you something..you might be ready to become a grandmother, but I am truly not!!!
I have 5 questions to parents worldwide:
1. Do you trust and know your child?
2. Have you had "the talk" with your child?
3. Do you know your child's friend's? Do you trust them?
4. Do your child have access to full internet?
5. Do you know if your child is being pressured into doing things he/she is not ready for?
Children can't be trusted all the time. Make sure that your children are safe. Literally and figuratively speaking. Condoms are not that expensive! Rather be safe than sorry.
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Parents have to have "the talk" and attach all kinds of values to it. BUT they need to do it before the kid hits puberty. Once the hormones hit, its difficult (not impossible though) to rewind. Thanks for posting this!
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Hi @tlester thank you for commenting. I agree with what you said. Not impossible to remind those hormones. They should still be playing with dolls at that age....lol
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This is a tough story. I think the subject has become so taboo that sometimes "the talk" is much later or doesn't occur at all. I think it is our duty as parents to teach and inform our children about the world, but also to supervise and guide them. I am following you now @giantbear!
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Thank you @sgnsteems! Followed you back. Oh very true. It is our duty as parents to supervise and guide our children. I have taught my children to be very open with me and so far that has paid off. I have two beautiful sons that I love very much!
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Hard story to hear, children born under these circumstances have the biggest crosses to bear
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Oh true...I can go on for weeks about the experience I've had as a teacher. How are you doing today?
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This was a great post until you added those last two sentences. Condoms and safety? Seriously? When unmarried 15-year-olds (and these days many kids are having sex at 12 and 13) have sex with partners who "cannot be bothered", pregnancy is by no means the only thing that can cause them harm.
Casual sex is very emotionally destructive. These children are setting a low bar for future partners - no commitment, no thought for long-term consequences.
Good sex is about each member of the couple committing themselves to a lifetime of learning how to please their partner better - how to truly become united in every way. In contrast, when the uncommitted teen couple breaks up, at least one of them is going to feel as if they were objectified - used - for the passing pleasure of the other. That loss is something that can never be erased.
We should be teaching kids that this is a very important reason to refuse to have sex before marriage. Making babies who do not automatically have two loving parents is, of course, another, and there are many, many more.
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Hi @drlindathenurse I totally agree with you that we should teach our kids not to have sex before marriage. Circumstances in communities sometimes do not allow this. For the Zulu community here in South Africa it is important for a girl to have a child before marriage so that she has someone to look after her and the child. Frightening with the amount of jobless people walking around here.
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Ghana also had a "try before you buy" marriage policy, but the girl had every expectation that if she delivered a healthy child, the boy would marry her and help support the child. Although that has problems of its own, it is quite different from casual sex with multiple partners in which pregnancy is an unwanted outcome.
I'll follow you...
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More than one mother I know has her 'sleeping'pill. Every morning the daughter takes a 'vitamin'pill. Mum can sleep happy. Not knowing, the daughter will say no or take care. Modern parents seem to think it should be the schools job to do "the talk" , it is not the schools daughter that gets the problem. It is the parents.
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If you look at the sex education here in South Africa we start as early as Grade 5. In Grade 7 they learn all about STD's but that still doesn't seem to scare them.
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It scared the s**t out of me when I was young.
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It still scares me!!! LOL!
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As young lads we were shown very graphic, I think U S Army origin, World War 2 vintage films. Then there would be sausages for lunch, it was enough to put young lads off their food, for a little while
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Well, perhaps we should start scaring the kids to make the world a better place. We don't even have to lie to them. We can just show them pictures and videos.
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The parents would kick up a stink if they had any idea of the contents of those films. Scare the kids but be out of a job tomorrow, not the wisest idea.
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True though...but at least we will have Steemit and a better future for the kids...lol
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It's such a critical world out there especially in high school your looked down upon and if you are not sexually active, and there there's the internet. One mistake can lead to a consequence that often time the teen can not handle. As parents its so hard because you think you know your child but you don't know what they are doing when they are at school or anywhere else. It's hard to get the teen to trusting and open with the parents.
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Hi @sarahc1362 thank you for your comment. The things I have heard and seen is terrifying. I once caught a grade 5 student with a porn video on his phone. Nine years old...horrifying experience. Parents did not even show up for the parent teacher conference...poor child was left to fight for himself.
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Unrestricted smart phones should not be available to 9 year olds. Parents who provide such devices are being irresponsible. A friend's 10 year old kid played videogames on his phone, which had more and more porn as he went up levels. Eventually he molested a younger friend, who is now seriously messed up. The parents who gave the kid the phone and paid for the game were proud of how smart he was, but they did not consider that he was still as immature as any other 10 year old.
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Very sadly to read this, yes internet is give big impact for children. So we must give proper information about sex and consequently to do sex before married.
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I shudder to think what children see on the internet...
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Very sad. This should not have happened. I have my daughter in grade 10, I talk to her about sexual behavior in teens and how to avoid it. She tells me that this is all around her and just a handful of her classmates understand about how to protect themselves. I don't know which direction the society is going?
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Hi Manjit. I so agree with you. These kids have no respect for themselves anymore or they just don't care. They jump from one partner to another as if it is just something to do. I thank God that he gave me sons. I would not have been able to protect a daughter. I can preach for my sons and keep them safe and I have taught them to respect girls. We don't want to over protect our children but I think we have to...
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I have two daughters and a son. I always thank GOD for whatever happened good to me, to my family and friends. I thank GOD that my daughter listens to me and talk to me openly on all topics from her math homework to her sports and social life at school including her mates' sexual behavior, drugs at her school and bullying. It is very bad that the age group have the most energy to learn, prosper and grow is being wasted on so useless actions such as on drugs, watching and listening or chatting online and sexuality.
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Honestly I have beautiful good mannered children that I trust with my whole heart. They know that they can talk to me about anything and my son at university is very open about everything. I believe that he will come to me with any issues. It get scared to think about he big wide world out there. There are SO many scary things out there. I home-school my youngest son and he is thriving! He is so innocent and pure at the age of 16. Beautiful child..my baby. LOL!
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I send my Best Wished to You and Your Family @ginatbear. So such an honorable person!
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