Another One Of Those Stewing Days I Think

Or should I say where I think. I understand it. I have been overworked and kinda nutty from it for a real long time. Now I am finding a time to come back to myself. It takes time. That's why I'm going to stay confident, do as much as I can, recover all the energy. I was in chronic fatigue burnout mode haha. I've spent many days staying up late thinking sometimes talking to clear my head.

It seem like life has been this big adventure and it has. I feel I've been long enough in the down phase. Now it's way up and good to go time I feel for sure. Getting my cuteness back! lol. I never lost any of it ever. Just the life circumstances had me on mostly bare survival mode. Now I feel I am recovering and doing more bit by bit. I am getting those times of lucidity and even old inspirations coming back. When you've been struggling a long while many dreams can get put on the back burner. I worked at keeping it all alive, now it's just remembering what I already know.

Have to keep on remembering the experiences and ideas. One concept I have from way back when is a band name I came up with called Massesect. Glad I kept that around. I have been listening to more of the industrial music and feeling I can be able to portray the grind in my own way too. Surprised I can still find music I can get energy and emotion from. It puts me back to confusion with a schizophrenic parent, a broken social system, and struggles with addiction in your community or with yourself. Makes me want to address, yes, the so called mental health issue. It's huge. Don't let these doctors get to you, or medicate you to make it worse either. Society doesn't know how to treat mentally disturbed people 'cause it would have to look at it's own system to find the systemic issues helping to cause the mass-disease.

I feel I am able to wake up in my own way, get more political and active. For now I know I have to continue healing up. Being inspired is getting me to heal up faster, but not to push anything. After having a stressed life you want the switch of ease! That's ok. Takes work to get to the switch of ease. Society doesn't provide it. It's like you have to build it yourself and get other people who would understand it involved.

That is my blog for tonight. I'm good and tired and will have a fun sleep! I'm feeling more refreshed all the time! It's good I don't feel so wonky or woozy from allot of pressure coming down. There still is pressure, not out of it exactly yet. Still feel the new refreshed vibe. Insist on it too. I want to be healthy and happy.