One could time it I suppose... The anxiety tweaks and bewilderment and then calm and understanding. Seems to happen after every petty argument. I've had these spazz attacks where if I don't know what to do I can flip out a bit. Usually over social stuff. Well I live with my fam with no walls between us. We are here to hear each others stories and problems but we need space from each other too
Had a little freak out last night actually. It doesn't take me too long to get over it. When you want calm, more space between you with other home dwellers and you hear someone elses self doubt it can get to you. You are supposed to be their friend and lend an ear. Yet if they are exaggerating yet upset for a good reason too... I have to let my old reactions go.
I'm not the one arguing. Sometimes its between the other 2 family members. I have this strange memory that when I hear arguing it reminds me of my parents fighting. I have this weird reaction where I feel like I want to blame myself..or this is more accurate - done more to keep the place calm you know. But it's not about me. It's about the other peoples outside relationships with others. That should be fine. I talk about my problems with my friends with my fam and I get in bad moods but they still listen
Anyway feeling less stress and depressed. Still facing the same sorts of problems. But damn don't want any to let me down. I've seen allot of hurt in life. I don't want to be hurting or adding to others. So I can just be easy and hear other peoples problems. Let them know what I think without freaking. If we are all freaking we don't get much done
