I Do Like The Idea Of The 20-25 Years Later Thing!

Yeah early 90's was when it all went down. Where I went to a group home after living with my mom with mental illness and then went to live with my dad. We were in Vancouver when we went to group home then went to Chilliwack, a place with trees and mountains. When it still had some innocence being still considered a town back then. I wanted to write my whole life story then. I wanted to be heard. No adult really listened to me in those early confusing years. Ah, the childhood trauma, I survived, still surviving today's trauma too.

My Dad was the first person who actually talked to me. Instead of just being treated like furniture, you know!? You are not treated as a person when you your forced to learn as a pre packaged version of a 'student', you are not able to discover spirituality by being forced by fear into religion. When the world doesn't seem like a welcoming place, when you don't have trust, you feel lost and hurt. My mom projected allot of that kind of fear onto us, yet you can see it comes from the outside, how they were shocked from their life experience and act strange from it.

It's paranoid society. The gossip pit. What will the neighbours think. Keeping up with the Jones's. It is human animals in a zoo. They act out and do f*&%ed up stuff. Maddening. You can see the madness of society and how it drives some people mad. Yet the society does not have any clue about or how to treat mental illness. People need to be heard and to be loved. That's about it. The current society of buy and sell doesn't provide that. They only know nose to the grind stone. If people get sick from it they don't seem to know how to care. Even if it's wrecking the environment and destroying livelihoods.

So anyway I feel the 25 years later spark! Been watching that dreary soap opera Twin Peaks! Finally got through the old series! It goes on the exact timeline all this shit went down for me! The show is crazy like my upbringing reminding me of the awful soaps my mom would watch in the house. Soap opera torture! And she still watches the f**&n things! That's why I respect Twin Peaks for having the characters watch crappy soaps in the show. Soap opera in a soap opera! Perfect! Now to celebrate the new year I will break in the 25 years later Twin Peaks! Haven't seen it yet but watched the Nine Inch Nails in Twin Peaks video. I will do what my kid self wanted to and still write my story in some form. Some important and interesting awarenesses I'd like to share! I want to be philosophical and exuberant more yet again. Yet I never lost the knack. I suppose it's just that on with the show kinda time! A new beginning!!