Because I just signed off on an I AM DONE WITH YOU email and I feel like dancing.
To be honest, I am buzzing with rage at all the hoops I've had to jump through to end this relationship, and this only ends one area of it. I fully expect they will email me and try to argue and manipulate me back into this project, or trying to force me to jump through hoops come tax time because they are mean like that.
I know this isn't over, but it's closer to over than it was yesterday! One step at a time. Steem on! Right?
What this means is now I can focus more attention on the aspects of life I enjoy. I fully intend to spend more time outdoors. I feel I've been held hostage in front of my computer. Now I can frolic in the leaves and if this clown doesn't like it they can fuck right off.
I kid you not. I am done. Why? Because I received an email last night that was all about how incredibly wonderful I am and they love me and I've changed their life and I started thinking for a second that maybe I was the bad guy. Maybe I had it all wrong.
That's how they spring the trap. That thinking. It's dangerous.
I almost responded.
But I told myself to wait until morning. When I woke up, my head was clear. I put my energy into completing the project and cutting ties.
I am proud of myself and I should be. Abuse is insidious. Those who have been abused are manipulated to feel at fault so they can easily be reeled back in. Right now, my empathy is for me. I cut the line.
This fish is free.
I couldn't tell if this is a love relationship or a work relationship. Either way ... Abusers will abuse until their left alone long enough to start abusing themselves .. then maybe there is a chance that they recognize it was always them.
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Friendship and work. Work that turned into friendship. I hope they find peace. Right now I am wishing they would leave me alone. Every day more messages. :(
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I'm so happy for you! Ending toxic never ending downward spiral relationships (insert sucking sound here), especially with family members, is so hard. My family is great, but I do/did have one such relationship there that I reached this moment with. 3 years ago...the final straw happened and that was it. I was done. Wrote it all out in an email to him, sent it, he was like "what?!", but he knows...and no temptation to go back to the way it was. Celebrate liberating yourself!!
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I was remembering earlier that this emotional process is very similar to what I went through when I moved out of my family home. Slowly the toxic veil was lifted and I was able to distinguish the harmful from impotent behaviors (and render the harmful impotent). I feel sad that I've been wrapped up in the same thing again, but amazed at my strength and how much quicker I'm getting out of it this time.
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Congratulations on your freedom...now it's time to gird your loins and stay strong. Don't let temptation or doubt pull you back into a poisonous wreck.
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THIS. Yes. I HAVE to remember NO NO NO. Because I want to help everyone, and that's how they got to me in the first place.
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I'm a giver too.
My extended family and some of my loose acquaintances have stopped calling me because I've become quite forgetful and hard of hearing ergo I've become quite the pain in the ass to talk to. I call it selective stupidity.
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This video is pretty good on how to dance
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