How I Made Something Out Of My Pain & Suffering.

5 years ago I was suicidal.
Today, I'm solid and improving daily.
Here's what changed and how I got here...

1. Therapy

I thought I had it figured out. I didn't. You have blind spots and a professional can guide you through them & if you work hard, you can overcome them.
I'm beyond thankful I tried it and kept at it.
Before therapy, self care was like driving with one eye closed.

2. Health and fitness

In 2014 I was 240 lbs.
Today I'm 186.
I was bitter, angry and embarrassed. I wore baggy hoodies, in LA summers, to hide my gut.
Small, consistent steps got me here.
I thought confidence was something you were born with, I was dead wrong.

3. Hard, challenging work

I forced myself to work even when I was unmotivated, bored, annoyed, frustrated.
I fucking hated it, but after some time, the work felt better than sitting on my ass.
Why?
Because nothing feels better than progress & good work is always progress.

4. Kindness to myself

I was an asshole to myself. You spend more time with yourself than anyone else.
This clicked for me in 2016 and I began speaking kinder words in my head.
From "you fucking idiot, you fucked it up" to "all good Asad, try it again."
Be kinder to yourself.

5. Fuck Comparison

I stopped playing the game of me vs. him/them/her.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Each person walks their own path.
Comparing yourself to anyone is like judging the smell of an orange to the taste of a banana. It's stupid.
Stop it.

6. Boundaries

You need em in family too. I had none before, I have very strict ones now.
So much so that crossing them is punishable by desertion.
The result? My relationships are 10x healthier than they once were.
Set boundaries.

This didn't happen overnight.
Some nights I wanted to find a gun and pull the trigger.
I'm glad I didn't. Once it's over, it's over. But if you're still here, life can get better & you can kill your demons.
Take it one day at a time.

Believe it's possible.
Or be open to it.
Or lie to yourself that it's possible.
If keep telling yourself the lie that life can get better, you'll be surprised how soon the universe proves your lie.
Everyone's battle is different, but giving up is a premature end.

You deserve better than that.
You're here against all odds. Make something out of your pain and suffering.
The world needed me to get here. I did.
It needs you to get here too.
Make it happen.

Tally Ho, homie - you got this.