Ten Years Since I Lost my Dad

in life •  7 years ago 


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Mondays are supposed to be for my “Tales From My Grandmother Series” but today makes it exactly ten years since my dad passed away. I’ve never written about it and I thought doing so now would only be appropriate.

I had just resumed my first year at the junior secondary school. I was full of life and it seemed like anything I desired was possible. The sky seemed to be the starting point. I had made new friends and I was gradually forgetting about my friends from primary school.

I left for school on the third day of resumption, bursting with energy and ready to face a new day. I was having a free period and I was chatting with my newly acquired friends and none of us heard my name being called over the public announcer. A teacher had to come into my class and call me out.

I was surprised to see my aunt and grandmother. I had lived with my grandmother all my life and I only visited my parents during the weekends or holidays. She was all smiles and I did not even suspect that anything was wrong. Grandma told me that my aunt was to take me to a place and I followed her, hoping we were headed towards some place of interest.

I was taken aback, when I eventually discovered that my dad had died. I remember losing my balance and the shock was unimaginable. I cried, wailed and expressed my grief in the way my young mind could. One thing for sure is that I was completely torn apart.

At my dad’s burial, there were several uncles and aunts who made various promises. They promised to do more than my father had ever done. They promised heaven and earth and told me that I could be rest assured that I would be adequately catered for. That was the last time I ever saw or heard from some of them.

None of the promises was fulfilled and my mum was left to cater for my sister and I, as a single mother. It was not easy but my mum braved all odds and has produced two amazing individuals, if I do say so myself.

It was not always easy growing up without a father. There have been times when I badly needed fatherly advice about certain matters but could not find anyone to talk to. My mother tries her best to be of help but she does not always see everything from a male’s perspective.

There have been times when I require funds but find it difficult to ask my mum for it. “Don’t kill the poor woman” is what I tell myself. There are times when I think that things would have been a lot easier for me, if I had a father but what does not kill a man only makes him stronger.

Thank you for sparing your time to go through this. I remain your humble little boy.



I am @Illuminatus, I am a Nigerian and I am neither a terrorist, a scammer nor a spammer.



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The title of your post rekindled the memories of my late dad. Years have passed but the memory keeps reverberating

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deep sorrow left by loved ones

May his soul rest in d bossom of d lord. Wherever he is now, he will be proud of what you have become and will be smiling.. E know easy but na so life be.. Like u said earlier, what doesn't kill u makes u stronger. Wish u and ur family d best .

He's in a better place bro

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11 years ago my father died from the dreadful disease known as ALS. What happened was I came home from work early in the morning. I took a shower and after I came out, all the lights were switched on. Then my brother came in crying and told me that my father passed away. I remember the shock I felt. I expected this day to come, yet it was still so surreal and scary.

I am sorry for your loss @illuminatus. I know how it feels. Keep on keeping on. Anytime you wanna chat just drop me a message.

May you be more of greatness than he had. Live on my friend

None of the promises was fulfilled and my mum was left to cater for my sister and I, as a single mother. It was not easy but my mum braved all odds and has produced two amazing individuals, if I do say so myself.

Oh @illuminatus, I'm really sorry to learn about the loss of your father. Hmm...10 year remembrance. I can empathize, having lost my immediate elder sister and uncle (maternal) the same year, 2010. It would have been surprising for me to hear that your late dad's people took care of you very well. The plight of widows in Nigeria is better experienced than explained. Some Nigerian women, though their spouses are alive, are like widows, because their husbands are not alive to their responsibilities. It would have been better such husbands were actually dead and gone, so the women who are trapped in such relationships can move on with their lives.
I'm so glad that your mum was able to fill the vacuum, which your father left, in the best way she could, and raise you and your sister to be awesome people.Mama, your mum, is a heroine. Please, love , honor and take good care of her until the day she would be called home. May the soul of your dad rest in peace. Amen! Sending you virtual hugs.

@maryfavour