My sister separated from her husband a couple years ago and went on to find someone new. Great right?! Im not so sure.
He is a nice enough guy but I find my sister is changing, and in my opinion, its not for the better.
She used to be career driven, took pride in her work, took pride in the income she made, kept a spotless home, etc...
She is the polar opposite now and on top of it all, has a needy boyfriend.
She used to give me hell all the time when Hubs and I first got together because more often than not, we were always together. We had jealousy issues for a couple years in the beginning and she HATED it. Though, when I traveled home to visit (I lived 7 hours away) I would often come alone in the name of spending quality time with my family.
She is at the point now that she does not work (and is perfectly content sitting on her ass) she spends most of her time drinking wine (I honestly cant remember the last time in the last few years that I have seen her at any given time in a day that she didnt have a glass of wine in her hand), she does not keep a clean house anymore, she no longer has a vehicle and relies on other people to drive her around, etc.. She was really close with my cousin and his wife and their kids, when it came time for the kids birthdays, she REFUSED to go, because there was no room in someone elses vehicle to fit her boyfriend....
Let me also point out, shes 39...
She thinks that she can say and do whatever she wants and get away with it. She recently asked Hubs for a favor (as she often does, be it fixing computers, helping her move, etc.. and he ALWAYS does it, willingly)
Well, last night, my sister went out for a girls night with people we grew up with... she posted a picture online of the table full of women... except for ONE person.. can you guess who that was....
Yep. Her boyfriend. We have joked with him about taking his man card or him having a vagina, because its funny. He has never said that it bothers him. Keep in mind, she has always been an independent woman (mentally) had a great sense of humor, etc.. So, hubs commented saying "doesnt S know that he is supposed to have a vagina to attend girls night" boom. Hubs was deleted and blocked by both of them and my sister texted hubs and said "please keep your comments to yourself. thanks buddy" Like he was a fucken nobody. Hubs and I are coming up on 12 years. 12 years of Hubs doing favors and being family.
To some, it might seem silly or be considered "drama" but this is only a small snipet of the entire story of my sister. So, when Hubs told me about this, I texted my sister.. I asked "Did you delete hubs" her comment was plain and simple. "sure did." To which I replied "cool. so ill drop that thing off on tuesday and you can find someone else to fix it for you"
I deactivated some of my social media because I am finding it is just too much right now, and I need a break. I find its making me too angry and this was the icing on the cake.
So, this morning I texted her asking her when the next time her boyfriend works is, she told me and asked why...
my reply was this "because you and I need to have a conversation and I would like to have it without you having to give responses to appease his feelings. Ill call you tomorrow. Ttyl."
Tomorrow might end up being fire and rain but Ill be damned if I continue to watch her alienate herself and drink herself into stupidity, and treat family like shit over a boy at 39. Im done. Im fed up. Our relationship used to be unwavering. We were Lavern and Shirley. Thick as theives. Ride or die. Now, she can barely be bothered to pick up a phone and call or text me. She has NEVER once, invited us over yet, constantly has other people over that she can drink around, guilt free.
Over the last 2 years, maybe a little more, I have seen her lie, steal, develop a drinking problem, lie some more, and screw over the people who love her most, and we have stood behind her, supporting her through it all. I cant sit by idly anymore. If it wasnt for my nieces, I would have just bowed out a long time ago, but they are the only reason I have not removed myself. No relationship with her, sacrafices my relationship with them, and thats not something I am willing to put aside.
Im sorry for such a long rant but I needed to get it off my chest and Im curious to know, what would you do? Im not asking for advice because I know exactly what I need to say and what she NEEDS so desperately to hear because enough is enough, but Im curious to see what you guys would do if you were in this situation. Leave a comment and let me know :D
Thanks for reading my rant, if you have made it this far.