New Years Resolutions, Why They Don’t Work and How To Change That

in life •  7 years ago 

Happy New Year to you all in the Steemit world.

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The New Year always brings a time of reflection. Reflection always brings us to feelings of lack or regret, which often leads us to set some New Years Resolutions.
We have all done it, and we have all found that within a short time, those New Years Resolutions have failed we have quit on that goal.

So the question is this. Why does that happen?

Well, it is just part of the human condition for us to often feel we need to “fix” something about ourselves. We feel something is wrong and therefore come the new year we look at ourselves and decide we need to fix ourselves. So we set about doing that by designing goals or resolutions to “fix” what we feel is wrong.
This entire practice sets ourselves off in a bad energy or vibe, therefore setting ourselves up to fail, then we beat ourselves up about failing again and get confirmation that we need to “fix” something.

So the real reason we fail with our new resolutions is the decision is made over the top of a negative vibration and negative self-talk or feeling.
It is like chocolate frosting over the top of a dog poop cake. It looks and feels good at the start, but it is still a dog poop cake.

While we have that inner feeling of lack, failing, fixing, something wrong or any negative feeling that reflects a low level of self-love and acceptance level the success rate is extremely low. Those feelings create a feeling of neediness, desperation and lack which in itself creates just more of the thing we want to create change in.

Look at it this way. How many times have you wanted something and the moment you “give up” suddenly it shows up in your life? Often I bet. The reason is that the feeling of neediness blocks the flow of that which we want from showing up in our lives. When we let go it will speed up showing up. The same principle applies to the New Year Resolutions we make. If you make those resolutions on a foundation of being perfect, whole and complete and not in “need” of fixing or in any “need” then the natural flow of life will bring those things to us with more ease and faster. Plus we are less likely to “give up” due to self-sabotage, the main thing that keeps us where we are.

So to ensure the higher chance of success on your New Years Resolution, we really are best to build that on top of a base of self-love and self-honoring. When we focus on self love our inner being is aligned and congruent with your desired outcome, goal/resolution and the choice to improve or grow or transform is not only more easy it comes naturally and the success rate is so much higher, because our self-sabotage is less likely to be strong enough to get in the way.

When I speak of self-love what I mean is a grounded self-love not based on ego or conceited attitude. It is a humble yet powerful acceptance and love of yourself. Where you honor yourself and accept that you are not broken, don’t need fixing and that you simply wish to grow and improve because you have a healthy deep care for your own self.

Ego is, in fact, the very thing that keeps us from ever changing, it is the driving force for self-sabotage and keeping us stuck where we are. Once you remove yourself from the grip of control that your ego has over your life, then you will see life grow and flow towards what it is you want to experience or have.

The truth is, we do not need to “fix” anything. We are not broken, we are not in need of fixing ourselves. We may or should always be growing, improving and transforming ourselves to a higher level than we were before. The shift from feeling broken and in need of fixing to the feeling perfect, whole and complete is the key to truly growing and fulfilling our resolutions. Those resolutions or goals will be much easier to choose, follow through on and will come naturally and flow out of the desire to love yourself and to honor yourself.

Healthy and humble self-love of the highest level is the key to any true success, happiness, and true fulfillment.

So put your ego aside, accept you are not broken and not in need of fixing, and step into an awesome new year by staying present to your current own awesomeness as you are right now.

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