The Husband has insisted that we quit smoking.
Cigarettes have been my friend for over half of my life.
A friend that is trying to kill me, yes.
But hey, some relationships are difficult.
I care nothing for longevity and I never have.
If I did, I would have quit a long time ago.
Shane has been wanting to quit for a long time now.
He’s ready and he’s excited about all the positive changes this will bring.
Not only to our health, but financially as well.
I don’t quite have the same positive outlook.
In fact, it’s rather the opposite.
I’m depressed.
Anyone who has read my posts will be thoroughly shocked by that, I know. (Sarcasm)
I feel like I am going through mourning.
I feel like something that brings me joy in my life is being taken away from me.
But, The Husband is the most important thing in my life so I’m doing it for him.
And maybe I really will feel better like everyone says.
We shall see.
But I apologize in advance if I come across as a cranky poop head during the next few weeks.
It's normal to feel this way, because you are letting go of something that has become a part of you. I have had several "bad habits" or tendencies that did not serve me but had become such a part of me that it was difficult to let go. The parts of me that are more closely associated with the abuse I lived were the toughest.
I quit smoking a few times and took it on again, and then decided that it did not help me feel less foggy or less depressed (at the time I was depressed), and yes symptoms increased, but I got through, and so can you.
You must reach inside yourself and find that one thing that makes you feel motivated about the days to come, about not smoking. It will be tough, I know it will, but it does not mean that it has to be unpleasant.
I've been an ex-smoker and now a non-smoker since 2008. I cheated once on a joint at my birthday and my lungs suffered for it. 3 puffs and I thought I was gonna die lol
Some days I feel like "oh I'd smoke today" but it's in association to an emotional flashback sometimes.
Allow yourself to feel what you feel, accept the emotions that come, that is what will help you through the tougher days. I'm not going to paint this as easy, but you can help yourself find that feeling of being ready if you feel "not there yet".
Of course, I highly recommend tapping, EFT, since it's helped me time and time again and now I have a proper tapping therapist, but you can also use essential oils to help. Licorice will help reduce the craving, cinnamon as well.
I quit cold turkey. I replaced cigs by scratch cards and had to quit that too a year later (so much money down the drain). What helps though, is putting aside the money, in a separate account, you would have spent on cigarettes, and then with it, buying yourself something you've always wanted or needed.
The important part is to be honest with yourself throughout this process and don't be in resistance of what you feel. Resistance makes stronger. Allow the emotions to flow through you, even if you don't tap, you can tell yourself what I would back then: "Even though I feel like smoking / not ready to quit smoking / obliged to quit (etc.), I truly, deeply, and completely, love and accept myself."
Hang in there! It's a big change, but your body will soon adapt. I hope you will find the motivation to get through the initial withdrawal symptoms, and find the relief quitting smoking has granted me. Don't hesitate to reach out if you want to ;)
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really appreciate it!
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What is tapping, EFT?
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Just misclicked my reply, so you might get part of it in double...
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. You tap on specific points on your face and body to move the energy around, it also rewires the brain. I use it to heal from brainwash and abuse. It allows us to dig up old wounds on an energetic level, and to heal those parts. It can also soothe anxiety.
There are affirmations that you can say while tapping., you can also give a name to the situation or emotion, evaluate it on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is most intense, you can give it a colour and work with that too.
Points are: Forehead between the 2 brows, both sides of eyes (temples) just below the eyes, below the nose, on the chin, below shoulders on upper sternum, just below the bra line, side of the body, top of head.
You can also just press and breathe.
I'm loving my sessions with my therapist, because we do more than what I can do at home on my own, but even alone, I can feel a shift and a difference. There are a lot of things I thought were caused by the abusive relationship I was in, which turns out come from childhood.
Anyway, ti could help you with cravings and help get the desire to quit smoking. It's a slow type of therapy, so big things move more slowly, but I felt a change right away. Even if it's slow, it starts right away.
Hope that helps :)
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Wow thank you for that information, I'll try it!
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My pleasure.
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Don't apologize for being cranky,
it might come in handy.
As a catalyst for you to cement your quit,
as you try to beat the habit.
Smoking drains your money.
Kills you slowly.
So quit puffing,
and start living.
Don't pay to cut your life shorter
Quit now, to live longer.
Sorry, if I sound preachy,
or make you feel guilty.
I understand your pain.
Just want you to see what quitting will make you gain.
Regards from a former smoker.
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I love your poem-type of comment, thank you!
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Welcome.
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Switch to ecigs and wean yourself off slowly. I was such a raging bitch every time I quit my husband would beg me to have a cigarette. It took me 3 years, but I'm down to 0 nic and cigarettes don't even smell good anymore.
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Ok this gives me hope <3
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Oh man I feel this, I smoked for 17 years then quit for five (using an ecig which I never really gave up) I have in the last few years picked up smoking again and I am so annoyed with myself for restarting. Good luck if your cranky it's definitely Shane's fault!
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That's right, blame the Shane! LOL
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It really is Shane's fault! Well, at least you quit at one point. I never have before and I'm freaking out.
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I don't know about you but quitting made me very emotional, like on the edge of tears but the ecig made it a bit more bearable. I'm sure you can do this, the fact that you are both quitting will make it both easier and harder I think, both cranky, yikes, but at least you can support each other, good luck the first few days are the hardest physically but after that it's all mental.
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It will make it much easier because he won't be smoking cigarettes nearby, which will make you want one, and you can support each other. It's hard to imagine Shane ever being cranky though.
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Great post. I tried to stop smoking a couple of times But I always start again. It's hard. Good luck.
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Thank you :-)
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I've never smoked cigarettes but a good friend of mine did for about 35 years and then quit. He did it by delaying his first cigarette in the morning by 15 minutes each week. It took him about 8 months before he just didn't need them or want them anymore.
But it was a gradual withdrawal process and he was fine with the outcome. Might consider that approach if cold turkey or whatever you are doing doesn't work out.
I wish you well,
@sultnpapper
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Good advice, thank you!
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Beautiful Post well done
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Hello @isaria facing your demons is best way to grow in life running away or procrastingin it just make it worse. We always have choise . It looks to me that you are not ready to take this commitment you doing it to not disapoint your husband wich it wont work you need to be personally motivated about such thing. Try this if you really want to quit smoking write on piece of paper all the positive aspect of quitting smoking go deeper and look, write more and more until you feal better you can do this every day and soon you will see that your attitude will change.I hope that helps you good luck at your journey.
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Good advice, thank you!
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Determination and will make you stop smoking Thank you for your publication, which makes smokers think about their future
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This post received a 3% vote by @minnowsupport courtesy of @isaria from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.
Upvoting this comment will help support @minnowsupport.
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Good luck with your effort, the both of you.
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Thank you :)
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I was usually lucky enough to be an annoying casual smoker but following break up I have become a professional , not looking forward to stop again. The tobacco is there to greet me when I come home from work.
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Its hard I gave up five years ago quite easily but when I go out to the pub and have more than two or three drink I require a smoke. Now I don't go out drinking like this that often so have convinced myself this is ok!
But it's not time to quit all out, I joining you :)
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I do so many things that are unhealthy. I wish that I had someone that cared enough about me to help me to quit, or to do better. I wish you every success in quitting, because I have worked in cancer centers and see what this disease can do. I care for you and I support you 100% in quitting. I don't care if you are cranky. hugs
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Some advice, please pardon me if this sounds 'preachy' or anything, I'm just trying to share whats worked for me and others! First of all, don't quit for your husband... you have to quit for yourself! Because the time may come where you too have a disagreement and in that case it can be like "well screw you I'm going to smoke." The fact that you're both quitting together is GREAT but just remember "look out for number one!"
Dont lie to yourself and say 'no I don't want this/a cigarette' because it's true by your writing and for like 99% of smokers - you DO want that cigarette. What you don't want is that lifetime of being addicted that comes with that cigarette. 'Quitting' is hard and it sounds like you are giving up something. But when you quit, you're actually re-connecting to yourself as you were before you became a smoker. You are freeing yourself and reclaiming your birthright! Freedom!
Don't use nicotine replacement to quit. Most people that quit with nicotine replacement(vape, patch, gum, inhaler etc.) tend to go back within a few months. Nicotine stays in your body for 72 hours, when its gone your physical cravings subside. Nicotine replacement draws out this process so you are still physically craving nicotine for months or weeks. Its like giving a recovered alcoholic a little sip of whisky or a heroin addict a little hit and expecting them to get over their addiction!
Cravings will only ever last three minutes total. Seems hard to believe because during a craving time can go really slow. But if you look at a clock you'll see it's only three minutes! And each time you come out on the other side of that craving without having 'caved' you build another 'reference experience' and your mind is like 'ahhha, yes' each time you flex that 'no muscle.'
You don't have to stop drinking coffee/caffeine like a lot of people say but be aware that once you stop nicotine the caffeine can more readily be absorbed in your system so if u are feeling jittery drink less coffee.
Tell your friends/family what you are doing, they tend to be really supportive and that support can make all the difference. You can still have the same friends of course and even hang out still while they are smoking but if you're really concerned maybe for the first few days maybe like font go on the regular smoke breaks with them at work or whatnot.
Even if longevity isn't your highest priority, cigs can impact your quality of life. And most smokers tend to think nothing will happen to me but I find when you're a smoker you have these blinders on where you dont want to see or think about that kindof stuff. Nobody wants to get sick.
Last but not least check out http://whyquit.com the source of these many and more tidbits. Show it to your husband! I'm sure the both of you would benefit from this amazing site!
In 2013 I stumbled across it and since have not taken a single puff. Two weeks after
I quit,
I started crying at one point, because it literally felt like I had survived a horrific car crash and was given a new lease on life. Those first few days are the worst but if you are determined you will do it! And you will feel better! Let us know how it goes! We are rooting for te both of you!
P.s. My mom says my dad basically made her quit but now all these years later she is really happy she did! So am I!
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful response and advice!
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My pleasure. Hope it helps! 🙂
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Do it for your hubby or whatever reason you can find to quit it. Be thoughtful of passive smoking you compel non-smokers to through your act of smoking or the more positive contributions you would be able to offer to this humanity and the planet though your longevity ...which would be missed by this planet if you plan to make an early exit by your own activity. You will certainly find a better alternative for your kick to keep you away from that temporary depression you fear. Wishing you happy times ahead with your hubby!
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Thank you :)
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Nobody said it will be easy. Just be proud of your self for giving it a go. I still miss it after many years, but no longer am I sick with bronchial coughs etc. I am a cold turkey kind of person. Whatever works for you. You are right about one thing your partner is worth it and so are you! Best of luck! 🐓🐓
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Thank you!
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