7 LEARNINGS PLAYING TENNIS TAUGHT ME IN LIFE

I used to be a sore loser - in sports and, yes, in life.

When I don't do well, I tend to be harsh on myself.

When I don't get what I want, I easily get angered and frustrated.

When things don't go my way, I can project my anger to my hapless fellow.

I mean, from among my siblings, I am the most competitive one. Which is why it doesn't take that much to excite my spirit. Give me an arena to compete on, and we're on.

The problem was, as much as I could practically take on anything, I was a sore loser. I can flutter high in life's success. But I can really crash tad low in life's miseries.

Until tennis came into my life.

I started to swing the racket when I was 14. Back then, in our school, I only played basketball because it was the popular sport. But I really sucked at it. When I saw a tennis racket from a student my junior, I borrowed it and started to hit balls against the wall. It kind of became my love at first strike. I got hooked instantly, and taught myself how to play the sport. Since then, I never stopped hitting the balls with relentless forehands and backhands.

I consider every rally and every match as an opportunity to learn.

Before, I didn't realize that there were far greater learnings to learn from tennis than groundstrokes, lobs, swinging volleys and serves. It was only later that I came to realize that I was learning many wisdoms about my life.

Well, I don't assume these may apply to everybody, but at least let me share to you the seven learnings I learned from playing tennis:

First, tennis, as indeed life, must be enjoyed.

My preponderance to competition, I realized, can somewhat take away the fun in tennis. I never really became a professional player to begin with. I used to compete against other schools, and entered into inter-club competitions, but I was really never the player other pros would take seriously. I mean, there was nothing wrong in being competitive and all. For all its worth, tennis forced me to stay away from smoking, excessive drinking, gluttony and drugs, because I needed to keep my body fit. But somehow my acute sense of competition eclipsed the fun in what I enjoyed playing in the very first place. Too much focus on competition consumed me; I sometimes didn't recognize the fun side of playing the sport that I came to love. In tennis, just like in life, I often have to to remind myself of the great words attributed to Soren Kiergegaard: Life, he says, is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be lived.

Second, discipline pays.

If only on account of the desire to win matches, I took seriously the fitness of my body. I shunned smoking. I literally refused taking illicit substances. I did not indulge in excessive drinking. I did not stay up late. These boring disciplines did not come easily though. I too was once a young lad with friends who partied till the morning and got wasted like it's the end of the world. But every time I am able to put up with long matches, I always knew that discipline played a huge role in it. I used a lot of my discipline training in tennis also in my studies. Because my body can take being denied of certain pleasures, it can definitely cope with the rigors involved in reviewing for exams, comprehensives, and theses. It's not as fun though. Discipline is always the not-so-cool part of life I guess.

Third, practice makes permanence.

Nope, not perfection. Practice does not necessarily result to perfection. Like habits acquired through time, practice cements only the permanence of the ways one adopts for himself or herself.

There was a time a good friend volunteered to record my game in his video camera. As I watched myself serve, I realized that I was doing all sorts of awkward positions. With the help of a coach, I tried to correct the proper body bend in serving the ball. After a few sessions, the coach had to finally break it to me: "You have been doing this the wrong way, and I am sorry to tell you that it would be near to impossible to correct the posture that you've adopted for many years." Well, it was a rude awakening. I look at myself and I realize I have so many behaviors and traits which, over time, have become my idiosyncratic identity. More and more, I appreciate that tennis is teaching me to see that there are real behavioral patterns in the way I react at stimuli, from fellows or circumstances.

Fourth, mistakes can either be forced or unforced.

In one particular match that I won 7-5, 2.6, 7-5, the official tally of my unforced error was a whopping 86. I could not at first believe how many errors I committed in that match. And then I realized it was possible that I really committed those errors because that match was particularly long.

In tennis, an opponent can force you in committing an error; especially if his or her shotmaking was really good. And yet for some reason, without an opponent's prodding, one can commit an error. I think that goes the same and true in life. I came to realize that, just like in tennis, people can lead us into making bad choices. People can force us to do something awful or bad. But we can commit errors on our own as well; just like in tennis. We have to accept that we are the ones to be accounted for the errors that we have made in our lifetime.

And by way, owning up to our mistakes, can be the most liberating of the many choices we can make in our lifetime.

Fifth, where errors are aplenty, learning abounds.

I have certainly lost count of the many times I have committed the same errors within the same match, or in different matches that I have played. Of course, nobody in his or her right mind would keep a scoresheet of all the errors that have been committed in life or in sports. But I think that is life being lived too. We will commit many errors in life. We will fail many times. No one is immune from committing mistakes. No person who has decided to follow his or her dream, or follow his or her passion, is ever insulated from bitter-sweet curse of committing an error, or lapse of judgement, or outright indecision. Committing mistakes is a part of life. The sooner one accepts that, the better. But here's the gospel truth to that: where errors are aplenty, learnings abound. If one so decides, he or she can use the very errors committed as the stepping stones to becoming better in the future.

Sixth, after an error, move on, quickly if you can, or spoil the entire match.

Oh how many times I have held a match-point, only for me to squander it and lose the match all together. There were indeed many times when I can take an error so badly it affects my disposition for the next point. In tennis, I realized that dwelling in an error longer than necessary is the perfect ingredient for defeat. In life, the same principle holds true.

Before my father died of lung cancer, he told me to stand up and move on in life after I have mourned him. You will cry, he told me. But I don't want you to cry for long. Of course, that was easier than done. And at first, I didn't fully understand what he meant. Only when after three long years after the death of my father that I started to realize I was still bitter about his death that I started to convince myself to move on. Yep, three years. It took me three years to decide to move on. Within those years, I realized that there were many sparks of happiness that I let pass. There were beautiful relationships that I never fully appreciated. For sure, playing tennis proved to be an effective distraction. But more than that, I realized that life, just like tennis, is a sweet spot of learnings for people, including myself, who want to move on.

See, when bad things happen, we must learn from it, and then move on. Lingering on the loss will spoil life with so much anger and bitterness.

Seventh: In tennis, real friendships spring forth.

Need I say more? :-)

If tennis brings out the best and the worst in a player or person, then the relationships that are made inside the tennis court - whether friendships or romance - are always forged on the premise of truth of who we are.

Tennis has taught me that real friendships can emerge beautifully from every match, every encounter.

Tennis is life. Believe it or not!

PS. The picture that I uploaded for this article is myself, on the cusp of winning a match. Yes, I did win this match. And yet the day before, I lost badly to the same opponent. Am I still a sore loser? Perhaps not that intensely as before. Tennis has taught me a lot. Paramount of which is to handle myself more rationally in the many times that I have failed.