The fear of what others think can be intense. In the worst cases, this fear can keep you from pursuing your dreams.
A couple weeks ago I relaunched my travel blog after being dormant for four years. It was a little scary.
What if no one cares that I’m writing again? What if my readers forgot who I am? What if no one wants to read what I write about now?
Here are a few ways that I am getting over my fear of what others will think.
People Don’t Care As Much As You Think
I am fascinated by psychology and the way the human brain works.
When I was majoring in psychology at the University of South Florida, I learned about something called the Spotlight Effect.
The Spotlight Effect is the phenomenon that people think about us or notice us more than they actually do. It's as if we have a spotlight pointed on us.
The truth is that we humans mostly think about ourselves. We notice almost everything that we do, but does everyone else? Not really.
I think it’s the spotlight effect that keeps people from stepping out of their comfort zones and trying something new.
We’re afraid to put up a YouTube video and share it on our social feeds because people might think it’s stupid or your friends might hate it or your second cousin will laugh at you.
We’re hesitant to share a new business venture because it might fail and everyone will be watching and it’s so embarrassing to fail in front of so many people.
But the truth is that no one really cares that much.
Do It For The One
I was scrolling through Instagram the other day and came across a quote that Russell Brunson posted that said:
“You all have something inside of you that can change someone’s life.”
I love that sentiment. But you notice he didn’t say “change a ton of people’s lives”. He said someone.
Now someone might be thousands or millions. But it might mean one.
The reason I launched my blog again is because I want people to believe that they can create a life they want, pursue the dreams in their heart, and that the window of opportunity to do that hasn’t passed.
If I can make even ONE person believe that and change course, then I will feel fulfilled.
Keeping that one person in mind who I can help lets me defend against the trolls and haters that will come. That will keep me focused when people bounce off my website like a trampoline because they don’t like my message. That means I won’t be embarrassed when my Instagram posts or YouTube videos only get 3 likes or 2 views.
Stop Asking For Feedback
Do you think this is a good business idea?
Do you like my website design?
Do you think these products will sell?
It’s natural for us to seek the approval of others. But asking for external validation too soon can be detrimental. We have to let the ideas develop in ourselves first before we start asking others what they think… if we even ask at all.
And chances are the people we want to ask aren’t our target audience. They won’t be moved by our message. It’s not for them. And they aren’t qualified to give us feedback in the first place.
You don't have to get everyone's opinion before you put yourself out there.