When you look at a person, any person, everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed their life. Anxiety, depression and panic attacks are not signs of weakness. They are signs of trying to remain strong for way too long.- Deepika Padukone

Baby steps to a "Panic Attack FREE" me...

......

Last night is the first night in a very long time that I woke up at about 2am with a panic attack. I had almost forgotten how awful they were... and there it was, slapping me in the face reminding me of the space that I used to live in on a daily basis - and I did not enjoy it...

It is completely debilitating, choking and especially scary to step out of a deep sleep straight into that state.

Although, having said that - unlike all the times before, I was actually able to talk myself through it and end it quite quickly - which I am actually quite proud of.

YAY ME!

I literally had to have a conversation with my inner self, bringing me back to the realisation that all the things which used to cause the anxiety and frequent panic attacks is no longer a part of my life - no matter how much my conditioned mind may still somehow feel that this is not the case.

In many ways, I had become so accustomed to dealing with anxiety and panic attacks that my brain almost "looks" for issues internally to become anxious about - like a constant searching, except now... its not finding anything anymore and that almost feels a little "unbelievable" still.

“Confession: Sometimes I get anxious because I don’t feel anxious. Which means I forgot what I was supposed to feel anxious about in the first place and that gives me anxiety.” -Unknown

I am finding that in these moments, I really have to look deep within to find a sense of calm... which I know is a good thing, but I do hope that eventually these automated, somewhat "knee jerk" incidents will eventually dissipate altogether.

Baby steps...

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Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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