Assertiveness is such a wonderful trait and yet it is such a dilemma. Why is assertiveness such a dilemma? What is the difference between being assertive with your personality and assertiveness with your body?
First we need to understand that assertiveness is a personality quality. This means that a person can be very assertive and very passive at the same time. The reason that I say this is that the style of communicating that you use will have a profound effect on how assertive you are not. There are some people who are very direct and there are others who are very subtle. Some people have a hard time making their point and they just seem to lack confidence.
There is a big difference between assertiveness with your body language and your personality. With your body language you are able to look people in the eye and smile at them. When you have a confident personality, you do not worry so much about what other people think of you. You believe that you have something to say and so you are willing to communicate your thoughts. With your body language you tend to shy away from eye contact or you put your arm around your shoulder and hold your face.
As you can see there is quite a difference between the two styles. You have to determine which one works for you. If you are like most people then you believe that assertiveness is good. However, you may find yourself doing a lot of things that you would not normally do. You are most likely to be a bit timid and this can lead to self-consciousness in many people.
When you are talking to another person assertiveness can be a huge asset. You will be more likely to speak up when you feel that you are being abused. The problem is that if you do not express your feelings in an assertive way other people might begin to believe that you are weak. You can become depressed and you will begin to withdraw from people. That is why you need to make sure that you know the difference between assertiveness and personality and assertiveness truly exist.
On the other hand, if you take a look at how assertiveness truly works then you will be much more confident. You will be more willing to speak up in situations where you do not agree with another person. You can even become very arrogant and act as though you know something that is completely true. This can work out in your favor if you are using this style of personality when you are communicating with a business partner or an employer.
The problem comes when you begin to believe that you are better than everyone else. When you feel that you are strong and confident you might actually become arrogant. That is why you should learn to take a step back and examine your own personality to determine if you have an ability to use assertiveness. If not you can get a good idea from this how personality relates to assertiveness and how personality truly works with assertiveness.
Remember that you cannot win an argument with a person who cannot communicate properly with words. Therefore, you should really work on your communication skills. When you learn to speak assertively, you will find that it will give you an advantage over most employees. This can work for you or against you, depending on how you do it. You should try it for a few weeks to see if you have any problems with it. When you have a problem with assertiveness then you should make sure that you are not using it as a crutch but rather a tool that you can use to help yourself when communicating.