ARRANGED MARRIAGE : A STORY FROM THE INSIDE

I got married last year September 2016. Let's start a little back and move on forward . As a Pakistani , we do not have much of a choice of who we want to marry or if we are already in love with someone . I was brought to Pakistan to get married , which I never knew. It was an arranged marriage with a guy that I've never met before . This was done through a bureau that arranged marriages , parents hand a file of their children there and people come to view the file . Once I met his family they said they would call back and let us know . I was an American Citizen and he was a guy living in Pakistan.

Once my father received the call back , they had said yes . I questioned myself of why would they want to marry a depressed girl , that question still wonders in my head. Only my father and I were there then, my mother booked the next ticket to Pakistan and arrived to meet the family to set the date . The wedding was decided 2 weeks later. I was sad . I was raised in American where everyone marriages who they love or who they desire, it was not the case for me . I knew I had to give up everything now and just do it for my families happiness , I had no other way out .

I met my husband the day of our marriage (during our marriage) I had no thoughts or words of expression left . Our 3 day marriage ended and that's where our life began. First couple of weeks we began to know each other, let me tell you one thing ... we fought everyday because of our differences . An American girl with a Pakistani guy , two different sides of the world joined together. We fought and fought to try to understand each other .. but one day I just gave up fighting .. gave up believing .. that's when things began to change, I had to ignore things because that's what females have to do( as my parents say) .. I had to hide and cry .. but let me tell you one thing , I became strong from this , I no longer believe in people . I just go with the flow. Now I am back here and he's still in Pakistan waiting to come here for the past couple of months, I am having his baby which makes me change because I want to do everything for this baby, not for anyone else . I want my happiness back and this will be my happiness..

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We still talk here and there but we fight .. I'm hoping once he's here , things will change .. what else can I do but to keep hope . I hope one day I will be happy !