I’ve realized that people have a hard time telling the truth..Now when I say this, I don’t mean your simpleton stuff, like telling your mother you’re at a damn football game when you’re really at your friend smoking pot. Or eating the last pancake and saying your sister did it.
I’m talking about the fact that people…make a conscious decision/s…every fuking day to see situations as other than what they really are. They sort of lie to themselves and play this game of pretend where they get to alter their perspective to match the model of the world that they have in their fuking minds.
"Change the way you see things and the things you see, will change"
And the reality is we, (myself included)can’t even really blame ourselves. I know, for me, I really had a filtered, make believe idea of what reality is. Growing up, I was taught to respect people, always do the right thing, be nice, be friendly, follow orders from superiors, girls like "prince charming" type guys, don’t question authority, school was going to make me successful, rich people are greedy, you shouldn’t be over-ambitious, you name it. I can go on forever, but I as became more aware of what’s really going on I realized that all of that was a load of BULL!
When I look at the world and see what’s really going on here, it’s pretty obvious why somebody will not get very far by staying faithful to one shitty model of the world, especially when it was handed down to.you by your teachers, parents, and relatives etc. Now lemme say that these people have done you no wrong and may be simply trying to help you navigate the world as best as they could but at the end of the day, its your life, and you can live a lie, or live over here with us: the people who took the glare out our fu*king eyes. Here is how I did it and how you can do it too…
Here are the steps for talking the glare out your eyes…
Determine what your model of the world is,
Find out where it came.from, and is it hurting you
Create a new one
Psychology has shown that the parent who’s love we crave the most growing up is usually who defines most of our character. Ask yourself, whose love did you crave the most growing up? Was it your mom? Dad? Who did you have to be to please that parent? For me, it was my dad. To please him I had to be very hard working, very respectful, be the best at whatever I did, obey his authority. So I developed workaholism, became a nice guy because I was always trying to take care of everyone and being respectful all the time, even when i got treated like shit, and I became very competitive.I obeyed at all costs, so I basically handed over my balls to him because men need to have full control over their "will" to firmly grasp.their masculinity.Maybe its different for you. Maybe its your mom. Go ahead and answer those questions.
After you answer those questions you can now determine if your current model is causing more harm than good.
The change really came for me when I found balance. I realized that, yes there is truth to what I’ve been taught, but no one model of the world can be right all the time. This is because we will in a world where, every single day, we are confronted with new situations and different people that all demand a different attitude from us. And I’ve noticed that if we don’t adjust, then the chances of us coming out of that situation with success drastically decreases.
For example, the way I would deal with a really, good person is not how I would deal with an asshole. Have you ever tried being nice to someone who behaves like an egotistical prick who is always putting people down, and has very little, if any, consideration for the result of their actions on people emotions. They don’t reciprocate respect, they take advantage of it. They milk it to get whatever their goal is, whether it be money, or a false sense of significance for their ego. So the way that I deal with these two kinds of people are distinctively different.
My new model of the world says that
the world is great place, it’s the best place I can be (it’s the only play I can be),
any attitude is permissible according to who I’m dealing with but as a default I’m going to be a good person,
break the rules that don’t make sense (not the law).
I challenge you to create your own model of the world. Make it so that you can enjoy your life and find success in whatever you are pursuing.
Good article, thanks for sharing your experience and insight. I take exception with the distinction between “rules that don’t make sense” and “the law” since we have a responsibility to act morally in all circumstances including when confronted with immoral laws.
I think what would round out the perpective offered here would be a clear definition of rights and morality. This would guide the variations in responses you describe (the “there’s no one model” theory).
You highlighted “lying to yourself” aka denial as a major problem, and indeed, it is truly the root of all evil. Man-made suffering in all its forms can be traced back to denial of reality - usually denial of inherent self-worth and self-ownership, and that of others.
If you have time, take a look at the following article; it’s highly relevant to this discussion:
Language, Euphemism, and Distorted Definitions
Way t’ be, jrray! I look forward to reading more from you!
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