How to Be a Better Person in 2018

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There's an understandable reluctance to make New Year's resolutions. But maybe we should try not the regular sort, but a particularly psychological kind.

We call them Emotional Resolution.

Resolution 1: Don't expect your partner to mind-read.

You can say it like (I want to start being a bit honest about what's in my mind, rather than getting anybody else to guess and then getting fierce as when they get it wrong).

Resolution 2: Less Sulking.

When you get annoyed and maybe the person who has made you feel that way have not quite spotted, what it is that they have done to annoy you, but you don't just tell them, and you make them feel really-really bad, and still drag it out for ages.

You can just go and tell them what they did to make you feel the way you are feeling, and what is wrong.

Resolution 3: Not taking it all personally.

Stop taking things personally, and being sensitive to everything. If someone is having a bad day or maybe they are sad or angry, you should not always assume that it has to do with you because it could be something completely different. Therefore, you have to stop yourself from supposing that you are to blame for everything around you.

Resolution 4: Be less avoidant.

Many people have this habit of saying "nothing" when there is clearly something. And it is because when it comes to difficult feelings, they just want to run away from them, they become evasive. It is as if you are a very well-defended fortress, but you need to leave the drawbridge down a bit. You need to let people in.

Resolution 5: Be a better teacher.

Making someone realize what they are and what they can do is the biggest lesson you can teach someone in your life. And if somebody you want to talk to is scared and won't listen to you and you say "you're not listening", who wants to listen to that. Talk to them when they are calm and then pick the right moment to tell them whatever it is that you want them to listen carefully.

Resolution 6: Realise it's anger, not a lack of desire.

Maybe there is someone that you feel is very attractive, but you might have a thing that sometimes you don't want them to even touch you. It's because, you might actually be feeling really angry, and it might be something that you have not still dealt with, and maybe you have even forgotten that you are angry with yourself. You need to pick up those danger signs a bit sooner so that don't end up rejecting the person you really like.

Resolution 7: An end to self-righteousness.

Nobody is a perfect person, realizing that you have things that might cause problems to others are the first thing to be a better person.

We may not keep all such resolutions. What matters is that we keep trying to grow up emotionally - and in the meantime, keep striving to forgive each other when we fail.