Being abused, Taking your power back.

I haven't talked about this subject in a while as I don't want to bore my readers with the same thing plus I am trying to keep my posts upbeat as it helps me think more positive, but once in a while bringing this subject back to the surface is not just good for me its also good for the awareness and maybe one person reading this will take something from it and it might just help them heal.

As most of you know I was abused as a child, sexually by a teacher, mentally and physically by my own parents and by my so called best friend who bullied me all through school, from infants to comprehensive school. I don't want to talk about what happened I want to discuss how to take back yourself, to be yourself again after a tragedy like this. Its important to remember this was there choice, I didn't ask for it, I didn't want to be abused and If I could change it all I would but I can't, they have to live with what they have done, they have to carry this forever, this wasn't my fault

It has took me a good few years to open up about it, I kept it hidden for quite a few years pretending it didn't happen. Then I learned to share and it made me feel better, it felt like I was freeing myself from all the hurt. I have been asked why talk about it, why not just forget what happened. Well it isn't that easy to forget its even harder to forgive and talking about it could help someone else AND why shouldn't I talk about it I haven't done anything wrong

When its happening you feel small, weak, lonely and very angry but you can't show that anger as more abuse will come your way so you lock it down inside you until the abuse stops. So what do you do with that anger, well it can go 2 ways you can turn out like your abuser, I was abused so I then abused or You can change the cycle and be a better person, you can rise above it and live a different way by showing love and being the complete opposite. I chose to be a better person, I took my power back, there was no way I was going to make my girls feel like I did, I wanted them to feel loved, to not live in fear, to stand up for themselves.

Don't get me wrong there have been times I have wanted to lash out with anger as my parents did, it was how I was brought up, channelling that anger into something else is hard but it does work, changing the subject, having a cuddle, going into a room and screaming can let go of that anger. I have thrown the odd pan at my hubby, or anything I have had to hand, luckily he is quick and ducked out of the way. I have learned to control my temper better, I haven't thrown anything for years. I have learned to talk about why I am angry which helps change the moment.

You have to remember its not your fault, the abuse will stop THE ABUSE IS THE ABUSERS FAULT

Thank you Pixabay

I have an addiction to reading non-fiction books about children being abused, I don't read it for the abuse I like to see how they deal with there abuser once they have grown. Some I get angry at because they end up looking after there abuser, taking care of them in there old age, some face up to them then leave them or report them to the police. Everyone is different everyone deals with it differently. Focusing on yourself is the most important thing you can do you have to look after yourself.

Thank you son-of-satire

	Hi I am Karen, I am here to write about my life and read about yours.. If you like what you read please upvote and leave me a message so I can come visit you	follow me on Twitter