Alright, For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis, Probably are wondering why I went on a date. As of right now, I am single. I'm not going to talk about it in depth on what happened, Because I'm still trying to fully comprehend everything, I also feel that I've wasted a lot of my time over the years. So I'm focused on my healing, Rather than overthinking all the events that led to the breakup. I know when I allow myself to overthink things, I also think of how to "correct" things, Which will get me in another whole new mess. Because sometimes things can't be "fixed" Or it requires the other person to want to change. But don't worry I'm okay!

Probably a bit early to go out dating, But went I met this guy online, I felt the need to go on a date with him. He seemed so much like me, Like shockingly similar. It seemed like this could end up being something very special. So even though my brain was screaming for me to stay home. I decided to go ahead with this quick date.
Coffee can't hurt, right?

We'll call him "Josh."

He Seemed Perfect, But Was He?

He even has similar future goals. He wants to get out of Utah, And live in a place like Oregon where it's green and near the ocean. We both love nature; We have the same religious and very similar political views. We even are both passionate about art and science, But math is something we don't quite understand fully.

The In Person Meet Up

I waited at Starbucks for him to arrive, I felt bad, Because I don't have my car yet. So he had to drive an hour to see me. As a result, I decided that I would pay for our coffees. It's the least I could do, right?
When I saw him in person, I feel kind of mean saying this, But he wasn't quite as attractive as the photos led him to be, but I'm sure he felt the same way about me, Photos can be deceiving.

I was a little shocked by how socially awkward he was. Even more so than me haha! Which wasn't a big deal, I went ahead and did the talking and paid for our drinks. Which kinda bugged me, He didn't even offer to pay. But I quickly brushed it off.

That's when the wait for my coffee happened. He ordered something incredibly simple, which was done immediately.
He then did something shocking ...

What the....

There was a man messing with his coffee, and he was blocking our way a bit to get through the line, I figured it was no great deal since Starbucks was slow, and there was no one waiting. Josh insisted on getting passed the guy. I sort of just stood there as Josh walked away, It was odd. Instead of saying "excuse me" to the man, He CRAWLED UNDER HIM, There was this like small countertop behind the man, And then the coffee stuff was in front of him. He crawled halfway under the man and under the countertop thing.

I watched in horror....
HE COULD have WALKED AROUND, PASSED THE TABLES, or politely asked the man to move.
WHY!?

I was embarrassed as I caught the eyes of one of the employees. She also looked surprised at what just happened!
He was a little toddler who wouldn't know to say "excuse me." So crawling seemed the only way through.

We then waited a bit for my coffee,
They were a bit slow at getting my coffee out, And Josh kept mumbling to me, That I should ask them where my coffee is.

I Should Ask them.
Not he should ask them.
I had no problem asking for my coffee, But it just seemed odd that he was quietly telling me that I should do it.
I finally went outside with my coffee, and we sat down,

We talked about The biology and Chemistry involved in life creation, And it was fun talking to someone about that kind of stuff! Not a lot of people are interested in that kinda thing. For a while things were good, and I was letting the other issues from earlier go.

I couldn't get past the fact we have so much in common. He even showed me his car. It was a Honda, Good taste! I love Honda!
He also went over all the decorations in his car and started telling me the "Names" of his stuff; He named his car. And he named the cat he had on the dashboard.
NO big deal, Nothing wrong with naming your stuff.
But it got weird when he told me that his cat on the dashboard was named after a sick Japanese pornography term. One I had no idea what it meant. (But I eventually looked it up. )

We started to end the date, and he made yet another weird comment.

" I would hug you, But I'm not like every other stupid guy out there."
That's when I smiled, "Alright."
And headed to my bicycle.
Way to put down a very massive amount of people, Oh well. Don't want a hug from you anyway.

I Was left confused

Some things seemed "right" about the situation, But others didn't. I completely lost interest. And I worry it could be a result of being in a relationship so long that I may have "unfair" expectations on dating right now. Because if they don't do everything the way I'm used to, I may be less accepting. The Last six years I dated only one person on and off. And Only occasionally had a couple of casual dates with other people.

Do we even know what we want?

Some experts argue that online dating has made it both easier and harder to find someone. It's easy to come up with a list of things we want from a partner.

I like rock music, And outdoor stuff.
So I may be less likely to go on a date with a guy that likes country, and who may not like to go outside.
But the reality is, We could potentially be very compatible on other levels. And sometimes dates could be more fun because you could introduce each other to new and fun things that you like.

We are also getting in the habit of "labeling" And "Profiling" People. I Noticed as I was looking at profiles, I assumed that they would be a certain way, Based on people I met before. Also based on what they look like and their interests. Which also can be a bad way of dating. It seems easy to forget that people have more dimensions than what we see at first.

Going to expand my horizons!

When I'm ready to start dating again, I think I'm going to try and go on dates with people I would normally avoid. Throughout my life, I've stuck with this same "profile." And It doesn't seem to be yielding the best results. I'm also going to date more, And focus on having a good time instead of looking so hard for that "life partner."
Because every time I go on a date and realize the chemistry isn't there, I become disappointed and feel like I've wasted my time. When the reality is, I'll probably have to go on at least 100 dates before I find someone more compatible with me.

I find it funny when It comes to relationships I feel very lost and confused. But when it comes to running a business or drawing, I can do it well! hah. Maybe like most things it takes practice.