Raincoat Protection

Were you born in the 80s? In Nigeria?

Then surely you know that famous Gold Circle condom ad. For those who haven't seen it:
The camera pans the inside of a bus. A man gets up and spots a pack of condoms lying on the bus floor.

He picks it up, stares at it then holds it above his head.

"Na who get this #raincoat?" he asks.

Well, that ad messed with my head and got me in trouble.

Here's how.

First day I saw the ad, I was 9 or 10 and seated in the living room with my parents. I remember how they laughed.
I didn't understand what was funny.

I was like, how the heck did a raincoat fit into that tiny box? My raincoat couldn't even fit into my big school bag.

So, how did they squeeze one inside a small paper box?

I asked my parents, but they just laughed harder. So I forgot about it. Until I went on vacation with my grandfather.

It was the day after we arrived. Our bags were half unpacked and I was running about with my siblings, chasing each other through the house.

I ran into my grandfather's room and hid there. My siblings ran in and looked around but couldn't find me. They went back out, calling my name.

When I was sure that they were gone, I peeked out of my hiding place in the wardrobe and then stepped out. As I made to walk to the door, I espied a glint of gold half-hidden under a shirt sleeve in Grandpa's holdall.

Curious, I went closer, reached in and moved aside the sleeve.
It's was a pack of Gold Circle condoms.

At last!

All my questions were about to be answered. Reaching into the bag, I picked up the pack and turned it over in my hand.

"Condom," I muttered.

What was that? I read all the words I could recognise on that pack, and saw nothing about a raincoat. Strange, I thought.
I was about to open it and see what was inside, when my siblings ran in.

"We've found you!" they screamed.

"What's that?" my brother asked, catching sight of what I held in my hand.

Before he could ask another question, I ran off and they chased after me.

As I ran, I was hollering at the top of my lungs.

"Grandpa, I've found your raincoat! Grandpa, I've found your raincoat!"

"What raincoat?" the ol man thundered from the living room.

I've never seen him move so fast.

One second I was yelling, and the next he was beside me, snatching the box out of my hands.

"Where did you get this?" he barked.

"In your bag," I replied, befuddled by his anger.

"Grandpa, please can I see? I want to know how your own is smaller than mine. Open it," I said.

His face was a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

"Don't ever go through my bag again, do you understand?"

Sad and confused, I stared down at my feet and said, "Yes, Grandpa. I'm sorry."

When we got back from vacation, I told my parents.
"Grandpa was so mean. He refused to show me his raincoat," I said.

It wasn't until I was 15 years old, that I understood why my parents laughed so hard, they fell on the floor, tears streaming down their faces.

Weird as it is, condoms are a fond memory for me. Any time I see one, I think of my beloved and now late Grandpa. I miss him.

The End.

Have a lovely week.