For "real" friendships

If we believe in the "wisdom" cited everywhere in social networks and beyond, we will learn that we must "devote time to those who love us unconditionally, not to those who love us only when conditions are right", to We are not sorry for the lost friendship because "those who have turned us back were never really friends" and so on.

From these tips I understand one - there is a small group of people (among them is my true love) who will always be with me in good and evil and at all costs. People I can not distinguish from my other acquaintances who just wait for something bad to happen to me to turn their backs on.

Do you realize how misleading these ideas are? You can not spend your life thinking about who your real friends are. You can not test the people around you in an attempt to find out how much someone is interested in your problems. Life is not a test either for your power to take blows or for your loved ones to take them for you. It is a series of events - negative or positive - that just happen. No one wants to hurt you deliberately by not being in a difficult time, just that has happened.

Life brings us surprises. Whether they are good or bad, this is our interpretation. Some events will be more terrible than they are in the eyes of our loved ones. The other people are not in our heads and do not read our thoughts. If we do not tell them what the problem is, how much we suffer and why most of our loved ones will not be here. Sometimes they will not be responding for their reasons, maybe some of their problems or a very joyful event consumes all their energy. We can not blame them.

Managing a result only repels the people around us. How many times did I answer, but how much ... If we do not have the internal urge to respond when someone is suffering, we do not help him if we do it forcibly.

Do not blackmail your loved ones for attention and support. If you do not hide your feelings, or someone will come back on your own initiative or you will eventually overcome the difficulties yourself (the truth is that we overcome everything in our own way anyway).

Let yourself be surprised. In some of the toughest moments I have received the most support from people I barely knew, it has grown into a great friendship. Over time I have given more than I have received, and at other times it has happened the opposite. But I never kept a record.

Reciprocity can not always be expected at any cost. This repels more than honestly saying "NO, I can not help" or "I do not know how to help." Assume that you too will not always be able to pay attention and move on.

Much love - Krisii

photo source - https://pixabay.com