WHAT EXACTLY DO WE TEACH THE BOY CHILD?

Lately, I have been doing some thinking and I have come to realise that we teach the girl child a lot, but what of the boy child? We teach the girl child how to be a lady, a home maker, how to protect her dignity etc.

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When a girl becomes angry and aggressive, we tell her to stop it that ladies are ought to be peace makers, but when a boy puts up the same behaviour, he is being excused.

We teach the girl child to protect herself, dress well, cover herself and protect her dignity and if she does, we applaud her. But what of the boy child? We don't pay attention to whether he protects his dignity or not and I wonder how exactly a girl is going to succeed in keeping her virginity, since the loss of virginity is a process that usually involves two people of the opposite sex.

We overly protect girls-when I was growing up, my dad would literally give my mum a sound warning not to let me out of the house and if I must go out, she must know my way about and she should ensure I return before 6pm in the evening. The opposite was the case for my brothers, they were free to go anywhere they want and no one bothers whether they come back early or late.

We teach our girls to respect the boys and we don't teach our boys to respect the girls, the last time I checked, respect is supposed to be reciprocal. A girl is raped and with the trauma she is going through, she is still being labelled guilty for the rape by asking her what she was doing at the wrong place at the wrong time.we expect so much from a girl child and expect so little from a boy child. We forget to teach the boys the place of self-control and that raping a girl is disrespectful and wrong.

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We do a great injustice to boys in how we raise them, we give the boys a very wrong picture of masculinity. We teach boys that to be masculine,they have to be hard, show no form of weakness nor vulnerability. They end up becoming men who are egocentric and we do greater injustice to the girls, because the ladies are left with no other choice than to deal with their ego.

How long are we going to continue like this? If we start raising our boys differently or at least pay them more attention the way we do for the girls, then our boys would not be under pressure to prove their masculinity the wrong way.

What if we teach our boys to be peace makers just like we teach the ladies, what if we teach them that being aggressive and violent is not a prove of masculinity and the ability to defend their self with just words and without lifting a finger is actually the prove of masculinity.

What if we teach our boys that they have a major role to play in building a home just way we teach our girls to be home makers,our boys will grow to be better men, better family heads and better fathers.

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What if we applaud our boys for exhibiting self-control and respecting a girl's decision of saying 'No' to him. what if teach our boys how to deal with rejection, that way we can help reduce the incident of rape and help the girls to protect their dignity.

What if we teach our boys to respect the girls and that the best way to earn a girl's submission is to respect her.

What if we teach our boys that being hard, showing no form of vulnerability nor weakness, hitting the girls is no prove of masculinity. What if we teach them that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to feel angry afterall anger is an emotion, but it's wrong to overly react due to anger in a way that would cause harm to another person.

If we raise the boy child the right way, there would be no need for all this gender equality fights(this is not a gender equality post anyway). This is me saying groom the boy child deliberately just the way we do for the girl child. Because no matter how we look at it both sexes are special and unique in their own way and both sexes have their roles to play in the society. No one can function beyond their level of knowledge, hence the need for us to empower the boy child. If we raise and empower the boy child well, we would have men who are gentle, compassionate,self-disciplined,responsible,loving,caring and men who would be great Father's,set the pace for their children and add value to the society.

Thanks for reading!