I almost made the title past tense and then realized I still, very much, obsessively watch television shows to escape reality.

I recently posted about my escapism through malapadtive daydreaming and my childhood imaginary friends. It got me thinking about other ways I escape from reality. Now, you're probably thinking "Whatever, everyone binges Netflix shows this is not special or interesting (and maybe it isn't) but I just want to state that I am not talking about normal television watching. For example, I have seen "GIRLS" in it's entirety about 8 times.

I rewatch all the seasons every time a new season comes out. I get entirely engrossed in the show to the point of feeling as if I am part of this friend circle. I get more emotionally invested than I think is normal. I have no doubt that when it ends after next season I will rewatch it again and again throughout the years. This has been a recurring theme in my life since childhood. It started with the X-files.

My fanatical X-Files obsession.

I began watching The-X-Files when I was really young maybe 7 or 8. It quickly turned into an obsession. First off, it began my first innocent crush, on Fox Mulder. I became obsessed with the relationship between Mulder & Scully also. I had a leather zip-up binder that I wish I still had that said "The-X-Files" on it and it had blueprints to Mulder and Scully's apartments, all the characters bios, synopsis for every episode (hand-written), badge numbers, and photographs of the characters in clear sleeves. I rewatched the movie so many times (I didn't have the episodes on VHS) that I literally memorized it and would speak along with the movie under my breath. This is what I mean by my obsession/escapism going beyond normal fan stuff.

My obsession with "The Crow".

I was talking to a fellow steemer about my idea for this article and he said "Every girl I knew in the 90's was obsessed with The Crow" or something along those lines, and I was like "Nah dude, you don't understand my level of obsession". I have watched "The Crow" roughly, I want to say, about eighty times. At least. I obsessed with it about as hard as The-X-Files. I had only the movie for many years but did end up getting the graphic novel. I also had an Eric Draven action figure. But mainly, I just watched the movie repeatedly and obsessed over Shelly and Eric's relationship. This movie along with the relationship between Mulder & Scully on "The-X-files" very much shaped me into a hopeless romantic.

I eventually realized movies are not like reality and it is unrealistic to act as such.

I was so engrossed in the love that Eric Draven had for Shelly, to come back seeking vengeance for her rape and murder. --I was probably extra obsessed because of that whole plot-area being as I was abused-- The flashbacks to their disgustingly intense love. But also the soundtrack was amazing, Eric Draven was a bad ass, and I related to Sara as, at the time, she was about my age and pretty cool with her ripped up fishnets, abundance of jewelry, combat boots, and skateboarding in the rain. I remember I named all my characters in FF7 after characters in "The Crow". I even included Gabriel, the cat.

My obsession over "The Crow" has somewhat subsided but I still do watch it every few years and I still do cry every time and I am actually working on some art related to it....Okay, maybe my obsession is still strong.

Though I am somewhat less obsessive as an adult I still do use television as a form of escape.

I might not keep bios for all the characters on GIRLS and I didn't feel the need to write lengthy reports on each episode of the new X-files season but I still am repeatedly watching the same shows, and movies over and over and over. And I am aware that it is not quite normal. Possibly not healthy? I don't feel it hinders my life necessarily, not the way my maladaptive daydreaming did but I still recognize it is a form of escape from reality.

I am not sure if I am just reading too much into this or if there is complete validity to me using it as a form of escapism. I am not entirely sure how others are when it comes to things they are fans of, perhaps being this into a few things is normal and healthy. Regardless, I think it is pretty interesting how certain key movies, and television shows (along with books and music) completely changed integral parts of my adult-personality.

I find this an interesting subject in general. Everyone is obviously changed and influenced by the media they take in, especially in childhood.

Photos:

A still from:

(labeled for reuse)

A child watching TV
Aaron Escobar

Books on TV
Shutterstock

The other blog I referenced:
https://steemit.com/life/@lauralemons/mind-and-go-through-my-elaborate-childhood-imaginary-friends-and-maladaptive-daydreaming

My Artwork:
https://www.facebook.com/LauraLemonsArt/