When people frequently share things or money, we consider them generous. Others volunteer their time, counsel, support, praises, and charitable work. Can this be considered generous? Do they want recognition, virtue, or reciprocity?
Giving without counting or going above and beyond is generous. It is giving without expecting anything in return and being satisfied even if they don't thank you.
I have known some people who always put others first and freely gave their time and advice. Others who kindly gave family gifts. It was devastating when these people sought help and found their loved ones unavailable. I worked hard for them, they said. High hopes can be dashed when expectations aren't met.
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Please consider your gift. How would you react if someone you've given birthday presents to for years doesn't acknowledge your birthday? Would you reconsider helping him?
Imagine volunteering a lot of time to help a friend with several life issues. As you put her needs above yours, you had to adapt your routine. When she's feeling better, you ask this friend for a favour, but she says she doesn't have time. Please share your opinion.
Staying attentive helps us understand our contributions. Hopes and wishes might sometimes hinder our generosity. Instead, we'd like to try bartering. I know a woman who generously cleans for her friend weekly.
A hectic job schedule and being a single parent to two children make these tasks difficult for her buddy. As part of the deal, the cleaner must also cook for her friend while preparing for her own kids. Good results are possible for all parties.
Alternative views on these two people's charity may be worth exploring. They found a brilliant and mutually beneficial deal by haggling. Kind people help others without asking anything in return.
When expecting something back, it's best to talk to the other person to achieve a compromise. There are acceptable reasons for donating with expectations, but people must comprehend this arrangement. I felt various emotions when my teenagers refused to help me when I needed it.
I thought their response lacked gratitude, given I had worked hard for them. We may not have agreed on how to take turns helping each other. I think my expectations, which may not have been reasonable, affected my emotions.
By realising our involvement, we realise that our actions may seem to benefit others but actually benefit ourselves. If we don't act, we may feel responsible because our values inspire us to help others. In this instance, caution or concern may affect our actions, which may not be generous. This is another way to measure generosity.
Giving should be enjoyable to experience its true joy. Consider that everyone has different tastes, and what makes one person happy may not make another. If so, instead of feeling let down, contemplate what could bring him delight in the future.
If you favour giving to receiving, remember that giving and receiving are part of the same attitude. We value reciprocity, where giving and receiving are important. When one enjoys giving, they may empathise with others' joy. Why don't you want to share this pleasure with someone who generously offers it?
Some believe in divine justice in the universe. Remembering this will give you confidence that the Universe will look after for you and you may not have to hang onto expectations. You can enjoy giving without worrying about how it will be returned.