This damnable cold spell has stirred up a memory of another damnable cold spell that we had two years ago. It wasn't quite as cold as it is now, but there was a lot of snow on the ground and the wind was like something out of Castle Black. During that particular cold spell, a particularly annoying series of things happened. Actually, they happened exactly two years ago today. (I know because Facebook reminded me about it.) This story has to be, hands down, the most frustrating cold weather experience I've ever had. More frustrating than driving on black ice. More frustrating than running out of firewood in the middle of a snowstorm. More frustrating than my wastewater pipes freezing, even. But at least it's worth a laugh.

Here's the story, as I recounted it on Facebook exactly two years ago today:

So the road finally got plowed around 3:30. I went out, got a gallon of water (my pipes are frozen and the gas station only had one gallon left). By the time I got back home, it was dark. I trudged up the driveway and slip-walked up the icy porch steps to find that the button thingy that opens my storm door was frozen and would not budge. I had a lighter, so I tried to hold it on there to melt the ice, but the wind was blowing so hard the lighter wouldn't stay lit. I tried banging on the button thingy with a shovel handle, then a rock. No luck. Then I had a brilliant idea: I trudged down the hill in two feet of snow to where I had to park the car because the snow prevented me from parking at the top of the hill by the house, and I rummaged through my trunk to find my jug of antifreeze. Trudged back up the hill, poured the antifreeze on the door handle. Tried again. Nope. Tried a bunch more times--probably about fifteen minutes worth of times, to no avail. Then I banged it real hard with the shovel handle again...and the door finally popped open. I get inside, I'm freezing, my hands are completely numb. My fingernail catches on the door frame as I clumsily try to close the door, and rips at the quick. Instinctively, I put my finger in my mouth, and.... ANTIFREEZE!!! Blech! So I used half of the one gallon of water I was able to obtain to rinse my mouth out ten times and wash my hands. True story.

Have I mentioned that winter is my least favorite season?

Don't worry, the temps are supposed to warm up here in the next couple of days, and then I will switch to a different topic. Until then, you all have to deal with my cold weather stories.

Image snagged from Pixabay and used under a Creative Commons license.