I AM TIRED OF LIVING THIS FUCKING MISERABLE AND AGONIZING LIFE. Every day I want to fucking die and kill myself. I am tired of being blamed for everything and I am tired of comparing myself to others. I feel powerless and worthless. I have no friends at all and I have no one I can truly talk to. .png)
My parents hate me and don't support anything I do. My whole life I have heard them bashing me, verbally harassing me, and even exposing me to their friends, coworkers, and family. I can't be seen with them it's embarrassing for me and them. You don't know how it feels to have lived your whole life in a house and family where everyone blames you for something going wrong or looks down on you. I can't even be mad at them for being disappointed at me or saying whatever they want about me because I honestly deserve it I am a piece of, I am worthless, and I am a disappointment. But what I can blame them for is BRINGING ME INTO THIS FUCKIGN WORLD. Just because they gave birth to me doesn't mean I owe them shit. I never asked to be born in the first place, put into a life where I only feel pain and hatred. I never asked for any of this and I don't want any of this. I don't owe them shit even if they did give me a place to stay and raised me. They raised me into a fucking antisocial, stupid, worthless, loser. And for that, I don't owe them shit. I still remember getting beaten by them, although they eventually stopped they verbal harassment remained. They say that words hit more than physical pain. It's true and I have felt that. I hate being blamed for doing bad in a lab or project because I am too stupid, losing games and things that I don't even do or knew. I have never been social in my life no matter how much I try I just can't talk to people normally. .jpg)
Everyone that I have talked to have eventually ignored me, become annoyed by me or have even come to hate me. It's not just women that hate me and will never like me, but men too it's just that their more approachable and less harsh then women are. I will never have sex, I will never have kids, hell I will probably never even have a friend again since I am the way I am. But then again I guess I do deserve all this; I got no one else to blame but myself for becoming what I am today. I mean what's the point in living anymore when I hate myself and everything about my life besides video games, videos, and stories. Why the fuck am I still alive? Am I that much of a coward to just kill myself? I don't know anymore and I don't want to think about it anymore.
Anyways, this is just a short rant that I thought about today and wanted to get off my chest. Maybe I just had another bad day and decided to share it, but then again this sounds just like every other day to me.
Love, Lil willy
Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
If you havnt tried praying to Jesus yet for help, I would highly suggest that
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I don't know how old you are Willy, but know that things will change, change is constant, it will not always be this way. If you can remove the negative influences in your life or leave behind those that bring you down, if that is viable, then by all means do it. You are loved Willy, and you will find companions who will love you for who you are, they are out there. I wish I could give you a hug.
Is counseling an option? or is there anyone you can reach out to for help? Maybe you could even consider psychedelic therapy. I have suffered from deep depression before so your words ring clear with me. This helped me tremendously. But definitely seek out a expert in this area and not go it alone. look into Ayahuasca, psilocybin or even MDMA therapy. Make no mistake this can be tough, and confronting the personal demons through this is not pleasant. Once again do not do this alone! But it has had tremendous success at treating depression and PTSD with lasting effects.
Don't make any big decisions when you are feeling your worst. If you can be positive about anything be positive that you can change this. I feel for you brother. Stay strong.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It's okay, you will rise. Just sit down and write on a blank piece of paper all your problems. When you get to one ask yourself can I fix this. If yes find ways to fix it. If you can't f*ck it live life, do what you want to do, don't live someone else's life for them
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Please follow me brother
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I don’t actually know if this is real or you upto something.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Dude, seek professional help. I battle with depression and suicidal thoughts too. Don't try to handle this alone, and it shows a sign of strength to ask for help (not from parents, but from a professional). Suicide hotline number: 1-800-273-8255
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
@lil-willy.. first of all.. no one’s stupid in this world. As Einstein said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” You see man, we all have our own forte to bring out the best in us. It’s just that some can’t afford to meet societies freaking standards. It doesn’t matter though, you don’t have to follow what the world wants you to be. You don’t have to exert tremendous effort just to be normal and fit in. In fact, you don’t have to be normal at all.
Secondly, don’t ask people to like you, maybe you should learn to love yourself instead of hating yourself for not being someone they want you to be. There are a lot of things to be appreciated in life. They may not be all good but they’re worth the experience. Just move on, accept what you can’t change and change what you can. Let go of people and things thats too much for a baggage. Focus on something, a goal or anything, and let the world around you bend with the power of that focus.
And lastly, The world is cruel but happiness is a choice, love is free and is everywhere you only have to change angles and you’ll see.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
8.76% @pushup from @lil-willy
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Welcome to Steem. Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.
Also get to know more about Steem reading the Steem Blue Paper and share your feedback on our Steem Blue Paper Awareness Initiative
All the Best!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This post has received gratitude of 1.97 % from @appreciator thanks to: @lil-willy.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit