Journey of My Life

New Life Journey

I will take another approach this year and put it here so that someone will be able to make it as a guide instead of keeping it to myself. If you were to read my previous post, you will know the sequence of the stories.

It is about my journey to change from A to B, journey that highly involve in emotion, fighting with ownself, challenging myself, my mind, my belief and my behaviour as overall. I can say it 360 change. I believe in my potential and I can do that.

The story begin, I had lived in denial and in the dark for quite sometimes, accepting whatever it is without even saying a word. I had trained my mind and my emotion to accept things and adapt even it is not favor to me namely in life, my work and my relationship and my future. I dont know what my value is because no one is appreciating each other. Feel worthless, purposeless and drain my own energy.

This year, I was awake from a long sleep and regret that i have not live my life as how i want it to be. I have wasted half of my life being so ignorant. I have not do things that i love. Just keep it to myself and being so reserved. I was so regret in tears for almost a week because I dont know where to start, what should I do and the most important can I do that. There are so many negative thoughts. I am the one who allowing, unconsciously things to happen.

Thanks to God, I have few special friends and my parents that keep supporting me, screaming at me to move my ass and at some point they are leaving me because im so resistance to change. I have lost someone that bring my life to shine just because not listening and back to old person.

To be honest, I do change it but it too slow like a snail as its so difficult to do things by my own. I spent lot of time reading, listening to inspirational video just to come out from ignorant excuses that i have made for my whole life. Im crying all day long and pushing myself beyond my limit.

Theres lot of things happen in between but i manage to change and people can see the difference and result now. I can feel it that im no longer there and keep continuing with what I had done just to ensure to be in same path and keep motivating myself. No one can help you, if you are not helping yourself. Blaming yourself and not people around you and you are the one who decide your own path.

I just hope that I can bring someone to the right path as how im doing it and to be with them in that phase as I know it is not easy to come out from denial and also from shaped culture. They have to be strong enough to do that in terms of emotionally and mind.

I hope 1 day I will be on top and to be closed to someone that sacrifice his time, energy in order to keep pushing me. You know who you are and you should be proud that you manage to bring someone to the highest potential. I promised that I will always be with you whenever you need me

Ciao