Kitchen life in a dysfunctional hotel

I wanted my topic to sound a bit like ‘thug life’ but I feel I didn’t get it right. Oh well.

Has anyone worked in a professional kitchen before? I just ask because when I first got into this trade, which was a good 18 years ago I sort of went into it with rose tinted glasses. Gordon Ramsey? Spot on. He isn’t a once off diamond; his bad language and angry attitude is what you tend to see constantly in a professional kitchen.

My boss is an angry Chef. He once threw a steel frying pan at my head because I wasn’t working at the speed he would have liked. Seriously, it missed my head by inches. And the poor waitresses, they look super smart, as they should be, but sometimes I struggle seeing the abuse that they take from the kitchen staff and the customers.

They once tried me out as a waiter. Bad idea. I’m not used to playing nicey nicey and having a heap of shit thrown on me. Be damned if you ask head chef how the meal for table 34 is coming along and he tells you to go fuck yourself and concentrate on your own job. I remember being slightly frustrated and I went back to the customers and told them that they’d just have to wait. Safe to say my waitering days didn’t last long. You need to be super nice for that. Haha.

And then there’s the pot washers that have no responsibility bar washing up stuff and cutting the occasional vegetables. They see everything as a laugh and a joke, and as an excuse to go out and have a cigarette. I don’t think we’ve had a pot washer that’s never smoked. Always outside, chuffing away. It’s like, dude, where the actual fuck are my clean salad plates? 

"They’re coming!"

And the General Manager, if you’ve ever seen a person with a superiority complex it’d be him. We are total shite under his shoe, disposable, replaceable, not worthy of his respect. He’s been here for a few years now. Longer than I thought he’d last, but he has such a rapport with the customers. He makes them feel like they are celebrities, even if he makes us feel like we’re crap. Yet, I expect everyone has their faults.

So you could just imagine what my working life is like. I try to fit in with everyone, even although I’m trying to get out of it. Being a Commis Chef I have my responsibilities and yet I have my failures too. I once sent out a burnt dish and was nearly fired for it, because I knew it was burnt, I just, well, I couldn’t be fucked making a new one.

But in a stressful environment there’s so much fun to be had. If I’m honest I’ll miss the banter when I finally leave. There’s always something new and fun that happens that’s worthwhile having a laugh at. And the fly on the wall situations that you become partial to, it’s quite an eye opener. High octane jobs always bring in the high octane fun.

I won’t miss the heat in summer. Nothing screams sweaty bastard like a 26 degree day, 18 hobs burning at full and 3 ovens blasting out a 360 degree heat. Fuck me, some days I go home and have a cool bath. I’ll be glad when summer is over.

What about you? How is work for you?