GETTING IT RIGHT IN 3-0H’S

Hi guys, so I recently turned 30 something years old and I discovered that transitioning from my late 20s into the big O was kind of difficult for me for a lot of reasons: I hadn’t come into my own person, defined who I was( identity clash),what I wanted and deserved, who I could allow control and dominate me (band- wagon mentality), mastered my mind , find my spiritual depth and a whole lot of other issues not to mention I had fear ,procrastination, laziness and low self-esteem as best buds.

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All these myriad of complexities almost made me go crazy and depression started toasting me. Feeling that I was past the age of self-discovery, I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life and join the “que sera sera” (what will be, will be)bus on a lifelong journey but alas! One beautiful morning as I sat on my bed bemoaning my fate as had become my routine, I suddenly had an epiphany, if I may call it and it changed my life-it’s a work in progress but I hope it changes your life too.

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

In this journey of self-discovery especially in our thirties,we have more often than not created a false image of who we truly are. Our lives have been shaped by external influences and we have let go of our essence which is the real “us”. This is the time to stop acting or role-playing, strip yourself of all those layers and ask yourself the hard questions; WHO AM I? WHAT DO I REALLY WANT? WHAT MAKES ME GENUINELY HAPPY?

Now take it from me, I know some of these questions may be difficult for you to answer, i should know because there are some that i still can't answer. Like I mentioned earlier, we may have lost “us’ eons ago but I have two tips with which we can get answers to the questions that bug us;
One, ask your Maker(GOD), look for the answers in His word…Secondly, throw a trick question to your close friends, spouse or a close relative. Ask them questions about yourself even if it means for them to mimic your reactions to certain situations you have encountered. It honestly worked for me and I trust it will work for you too.

BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN

Now this entails being confident with and in yourself, accepting your flaws and peculiarities, your likes and dislikes, not being a people pleaser (that stuff sure wears one out),enjoying your own company without the unnecessary crowd.Your alone time with God is also important because it helps you keep those voices of self-doubt, loneliness and fear at bay. Also you should be able to handle your emotions and criticism maturedly . Let me quickly say this “I AM A CRY BABY and the “Matron of what-will-they-say-club” but I realized that i was not living my life because I was trying to please people who did not give a hoot about whether I ate ,lived or died. There is also something I learned;

“If you must cry, cry in your bathroom,
“If you must respond to the haters, give a little sarcasm, and
“If you must be quiet, do it with a smile.

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LET GO OF PAST HURTS,MISTAKES AND DECISIONS

A lot of us in our thirties still hold on to a lot of stuff we did wrong when we were quite younger and I was one of them. You see I once went for an interview in an establishment and I did so poorly that it scared me for years, to a point that I deliberately stopped going for other interviews thereby sabotaging my chances of stepping up in my career and job opportunities.

Many people go through their early adulthood (30s) with regrets of failed relationships, investments, career choices, decisions, etc that they have stopped living and are stuck in a rut until old age. Live life with the No Regretanthem; the past cannot be changed to a certain extent (except you have a time machine)kidding but the present and future can be, with the consciousness of decisions being made today.

HAVE A SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION

It is also important at this stage of our lives to have found a belief system in a genuine higher power. In the words of Tupac Shakur

“Who do you believe in?/I put my faith in God, blessed and still breathin”

I am a firm believer in the Lord, God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth and His son Jesus Christ. This gives me the spiritual support needed to overcome all challenges that may come. It is absolute faith in the power and ability of a God who is a billion times stronger than i am that enables me not to be afraid of certain experiences i might have to face.

MIND OVER MATTER

As I wrap up let me tell you a weird story:

As a teenager up to my late twenties, I had a very sick perception of myself, I had this impression that I was ugly, fat and smelled like poop hence nobody liked me, all these were honestly not true because although I was chubby, I had a really beautiful skin, nice legs and a pretty smile but my mind was fixed on the negative and you know what? Nobody wanted to sit with me in church or any social function. Friends I had started avoiding me because unknown to me I had given out the vibes of rejection and sadness and people don’t want that, they rather be with persons who exuded peace, happiness and fun.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have. it is stronger than any other part of your body… As a man thinketh in his heart so is he. Until I started using mine positively I was always plagued with negativity but once put to good use, pleasant experiences are a sure bet. Work on your mind, your thoughts shape your life; send out positive vibes everyday and try not to derail; you will be surprised at the end results.

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It is never too late to start fully living your life and enjoying the journey. Remember that it is not a competition and do not allow social media steal your joy when you see some of your mates already established and you are still trying to figure it all out. When you do figure it out and are sure about it, pursue that passion, learn that skill, apply for that job ,get over that heartbreak , value yourself and I assure you that with God on your side life will be a breeze and you will be living the best time of your life.Till next time Steemians.......

@louiny84, Signing Out…XOXO