The moment of Clarity!

The moment of clarity .... I’ve changed! Some say for the better. Some would say for the worst. I’d say Its neither. I’ve just grown up and realized what my priorities are. I put life into perspective and man when u do that u gain a whole lot of clarity. You see family, “friends” the world in a different light and it’ll change you. At one point in life I would have bent over backwards and given anyone the shirt off my back or the last few dollars in my bank acct. if it meant helping somebody else. Oh, but I’ve learned some people aren’t worth even giving the gum off the bottom of your shoe. I've learned those who really wanna support you will go above and beyond to be there and do so. I realized most people don’t ask how your doing because they care. In fact, most don’t care at all nor do they want the truthful answer. It’s just something we're supposed to say when you start a conversation. People don't really wanna hear how fucked up your morning was or that your having problems. I've stopped pressing and fighting for relationships. Gone are the days where I asserted myself in peoples lives who didn't show interest in wanting me there. I'm no longer supporting people who don’t/didn't support me. I stopped taking peoples shit because well, nobody pays my bills but me. Life is funny that way because it has a way of showing you peoples true colors, but trying to make you believe you need to keep those very same people around. I've had to learn not everyone is genuinely happy for you. Don't get me wrong there are good people who mean well. However, I have also learned there are more people who just want to be nosy and apart of the mix while others... hmm... others are secretly praying for your downfall. Funny part is most people can't tell the real from the fake and don't know their players. You know that old saying “everybody isn’t your friend?" Well, its true, Some people are only worth giving a associate title to. Since having children many people have shown me how close we truly are. When I became a wife people tried giving me their ass to kiss for help. But the moment I closed the door and put away childish things is the moment I gained clarity to all the bs in the world. It doesn't just stop at friends though. One of my favorite things to say to people when they say " blood is thicker than water" is no, its not. Blood simply is the shit that links you by DNA that's it! When did it stop being okay to be alone? When did it stop being okay to call people who aren't exactly friends associates? When did we strop respecting people who call a spade a spade? I have stopped attending celebrations for people for many diff. reasons but the money I have saved on this alone has been amazing. I have completely directed my attention to my husband and my children and the benefits have been endless. I have stayed away from the drama and my life has been nothing short of happy because I never payed attention to the fact that when your apart of drama whether its yours or not it weighs down your happiness. I have delegated my time to those who give me theirs and that has given me a chance to be there for people who I really enjoy being around. Its crazy because I used to get excited about things like shoes and clothes and hanging out with family and friends. Now, I get excited over home decor, buying a family vehicle and trips to the ice cream place with my kids. I live for the quiet nights of pillow talk about everything other than whats bothering us because we don't carry that load anymore. For the first time in my life I actually feel free to be me and make choices based on what benefits me and mine and I don't owe an explanation for it. Who knew having your priorities lined up and keeping things simple would lead to the happiest time in my life. A life with less is a life more full. I promise to remain true to me and what I want and deserve in life and I put that first on my list of priorities . I live life with no apologies and no regrets. I just say Charge it to the game, but not my heart or recognize it when you see it.

&
Lyndzee G.