THE BLAME GAME… TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

"The fault dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings."
-- William Shakespeare

The Blame Game

We are all born into this world with a set unique of circumstances -- circumstances that will mold and shape our very existence. All with different parents, economic status, cultures… Some of us will have health issues from our time of birth, abnormalities and many other things that set us apart… And although this may seem unjust or unfair -- it is how we handle these circumstances that will play a huge role on how we see ourselves, the world around us.., and how it see us...

Look, the world is a profoundly unjust place, many people suffer due to things completely out of their control.., and ignoring that fact does not do anyone justice… But seeing it for what it is and accepting, instead of cursing -- can be the answer to your grief. Our faults can be the source of our greatest strengths.., and as such, could be considered a blessing in disguise -- challenging us, where others without such difficulties just breeze through life, never being forced to see the darker side of human nature, the random injustice the universe is capable of…. Unfortunately, we do not always always see it this way… We blame others -- our parents, doctors, teachers -- even the heavens (and sometimes rightfully so).

We are not perfect beings -- obviously… And many of our faults are the product of our own doing, our upbringing and beliefs, our environment… Plus, it is easy to blame someone or something for our shortcomings and our lack of understanding of ourselves and the issues that stand before us. We've all heard the world is a cruel place, we see it on the nightly news, read about it in our history books, know someone personally suffering from an unwarranted injustice -- or are experiencing it ourselves, in our own lives…

But as Shakespeare wrote -- "the fault dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves…" is also very true… When faced with adversity, we have taken to blaming "the stars" or "others" and not ourselves. We have and continue to blame.., and not accept any responsibility for our present circumstances, because of our own shortcomings and arrogance -- it's safer that way. But it also robs us of our self development -- growth.

Relinquishing Our Power

To blame the universe (the stars) because you were born with an incurable disease, one less arm, or no vision -- is just. What the heck did you do to deserve this injustice -- nothing. But to blame the universe because you didn't get that promotion or job you wanted, or your wife left you and your kids despise you -- has probably got more to do with your own shortcomings, than anything the universe, or anybody else did..

These two types of injustices are easily distinguishable.., and yet we have blurred the lines, blaming whatever or whoever, for everything wrong in our world -- taking no accountability for our very own actions.., and that can be, and is -- detrimental to our own private evolution. And at the same time, we relinquish all of our power, the resilience that lies inside the human spirit. We are capable of dealing with great hardships and coming out the other side better for it -- just because we were willing to acknowledge -- we fucked up!

If you watch the news or are following current events as it relates to politics, it seems blaming the "other guy" is a way of life. Republicans blame Democrats -- Democrats blame Republicans.., and in the end nothing gets accomplished. This type of behavior has worked it's way into society and the way many people choose to handle their mistakes, shortcomings.., and lack of trust in ones own personal integrity -- or maybe it's just easier!

These specific words from William Shakespeare have stuck with me for many years… While performing a scene from the play Julius Caesar and speaking these words myself -- A rather large, burly man approached me right after and asked if he could shake my hand… I had no idea what he was talking about, but as he grabbed my hand and gave it a healthy squeeze, he looked right at me and said -- "for once I understand what Shakespeare is saying, Im going home to apologize to my wife and try and save my marriage." It was literally right after that scene, I think it was a stagehand -- but he got it, he understood exactly what Shakespeare was trying to convey -- blew my mind!

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility is not easy.., and does require you to admit, that maybe, you are not as perfect as you thought.., and that's okay -- none of us are perfect. Each one us holds the power to be responsible.., and we use that power when the cards fall our way -- we claim 100% responsibility when things work out… But we are too quick to shift the blame if things should go awry.

It can be easy to see this in others, but when it comes to our own lives it becomes a tad less evident. Nobody likes to admit they are wrong, they screwed up… But where's the value in blaming someone or something else -- where's the lesson learned… By this kind of action, we have just wasted a chance at personal development.., and sullied our character. There's no great prize handed out for being right all the time, as a matter of fact, show me someone who thinks they are always right.., and I'll show you a fool, who can't see past his own reflection in a mirror.

Responsibility, self-empowerment and accountability are all inexplicably connected… Taking responsibility may require us to step outside of our comfort zone, but by doing so we are empowering ourselves.., and not looking for some outside influence to condone are deeds (good or bad). And no matter the outcome, holding yourself accountable for your actions -- no matter the weight it may bring down upon you, you own up and accept the consequences. You might be pleasantly surprised at how the people around you react…

We've all been there, dropped the ball when people were counting on us.., and failed to deliver. Whether they will admit it or not, they know how hard it can be to stand there and be judged harshly -- and they respect it!

We all have a code we live by, whether we know it or not… A set of values that have been instilled in us throughout time and experience, but when we forsake theses values and go against this code, we unknowingly break the unspoken trust we have in our own ability to rise above any given situation with integrity and honor -- we do ourselves a great disservice!


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