My research on pedogate has an ulterior motive: channel the rage in healthy directions.

This is deeply personal, but I hope that it can give hope to those fighting against the system of abuse fostered by the government, and serve as a warning to those enabling pedogate to flourish.

If you're not female, you're not on a first name basis with all the joys having an Aunt Flo visit you every month can have. Oh yeah, beyond the awkwardness of periods, even. As a female, I've been yelled at and accused of killing my baby when going to see my midwife at Planned Parenthood; the irony would be fucking hilarious if it weren't so sad because ignorance. So while people are yelling at women to keep their fetus (even if they plan to keep the fetus all the way to birth) and guilting those women into adopting their babies out, they've created an army of mothers who wanted nothing but the best for their offspring and offered them to what they were assured, fit parents.

This is personal because I gave a baby up for adoption. It's easily the hardest thing I've dealt with in my life (and trust me when I say I've had a fucked up existence, as far too many do) and even though it's been almost 10 years, it's still a raw wound.

I had an abortion before, to remove a molar pregnancy (aka no baby, all placenta. Can go cancerous) and the experience definitely colored how I viewed the procedure. Never wanted to deal with that again. Changed birth control types and ventured forth in life.

Two years later, another birth control failure (hormonal birth control isn't 100% and this wasn't the pill; it was the ring and it's hard to fuck that up but evidently killing hormonal birth control is my super power) and I'm faced with the dilemma of what to do: I have a history of severe postpartum depression; this was a viable pregnancy; abortions suck in the worst of ways; already have 2 toddlers; the father bounced out of my life (only to hit me up 3 years later saying I needed a friend, "special friend"...blech.) and were not on speaking terms; poor and barely scraping by with no support nearby... I knew what my options were. Abortion was off the table. Either I give it up or keep it.

I researched adoption agencies. Found the nerve to contact one. The woman was pushy in a assertive way. Sent me the literature and legal paperwork. When I received it, that's when the reality sank in and I knew I couldn't do it. I'd try to be the best parent I could.

When I had my daughter that December, it was traumatising. Hemorrhaged, almost died. The day after I got home and it was me and three kiddos, and rampaging hormones. And hormones won. I couldn't do it. I couldn't balance all three kids and heal and I damn near lost my shit.

I didn't give up my daughter because I hated her or how she impacted my life. I gave her up because I knew that I couldn't offer her the life she deserves to live; one where she didn't have a mother too broke to buy pampers, no nearby family, and friends who were in as dire straights as I. Lost my job and was trying to survive on unemployment as I sought a new job and funding for daycare so I could work. Couldn't get welfare because my allotment from unemployment was too much, never minding that what I got for the month, 70% went to rent and the rest split between power, food, and phone. (thanks Bill Clinton, for that welfare reform, good job creating a slave state)

New Years 2009 was a shitty, shitty New Years. Walked with my two toddlers to the local hospital. Asked to speak with a nurse. When I started tearing up and unzipping my jacket to reveal the baby harnessed to my chest, she brought me and my kids back, parked the kids with crayons, paper, and another nurse while she ushered me into a room.

I explained my situation. She left to get paperwork and give me time to say my goodbye. And I tried. I didn't want to let her go, but when the nurse came back in five or ten minutes later, I kissed her fuzzy head and handed her over. Nurse led me to the door and I said postpartum was going to be a bitch. She replied, it already was. And she was right.

It was a mixed feeling walking home with my toddlers; the one thing I could hold onto was the hope she would be raised by kind and loving parents in a normal, functional family. That she would thrive and succeed in life. On the other end of the spectrum, I hated myself for basically choosing my older kids over my youngest. So I tried to focus on the good, that I did what I could to give her a better life than I could at that time, and hopefully she's happy and loved and mavelous.

That was my one salving thought, utterly tainted by the revelations of pedogate.

My toddlers, now older, don't recall that day and for that I am most grateful.

Now when I think about my daughter (which I try not to do too often because who likes salt in an open wound? Not I, and if it makes me a chicken shit, so be it. I'll cope. I write her a letter ever year on her birthday, so there's that. She'll never cease to exist to me and I can never forget her) I wonder if I did the right thing; would growing up in poverty in a shitty part of town rampant with violence be better than giving her up in hopes for a better life? I eventually got out of that situation and into a better one, thus could have offered her a better existence than what my hormone-addled mind could comprehend. I know it's far too late to ever get her back, but still, I can't help but wonder. And thanks to pedogate, I also wonder if I condemned her to a lifetime of misery as some sick fuck's plaything. Is my daughter even still alive? The reality is I will never know and trying to salve myself with the hope that she's happy and thriving feels like a lie, ignoring the problem. The fact that I'm even wondering this means that the system is way too fucking damaged. NO WOMAN WHO GAVE HER CHILD UP IN GOOD FAITH SHOULD EVER WONDER IF HER CHILD IS STILL ALIVE. Fuck you so hard, pedogate and those who enable it. Fuck you in the ear with a shard of glass, you human-shaped sacks of maggot slime and necrotic testical sweat.

Which brings me to my titlar point; I am by far not the only woman to have put a child up for adoption. I am by far not the only woman who was told to have faith in the system and that this was for the greater good. That it's in the child's best interest. But when a simple search about adopted children beaten, ]molested](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=adopted+children+molested&atb=v41-7a_&ia=web), raped, even sold one begins to wonder if the system does more harm than good. Because I have no doubt the actual numbers are higher than reported.

I know on all spectrums, there are truly kind and caring people who want to love kiddos and give them healthy lives. But we cannot deny there are far too many fucked up sorts exploiting a system and exploiting children as well. And when the foster system is involved, we have to ask some more questions, especially when we examine statistics which fuel these queries. Uncomfortable questions require honest answers.

Becaue when I look at this:

I start wondering :
-if the foster system is so broke that 3/4 of the people in it serve jail time, what purpose does it do? Training ground for jail?
Because when we consider that the convict leasing system 2.0 (if you'd like to learn about the convict leasing program that started after the civil war and is what our current "justice" system is based on, here's a vid I made. It's long, but informative) is currently in effect, it makes sense why there's a flourishing foster family trade. It creates drones to work in prison factories, benefitting corporate interests. Consider also that it was Bill Clinton that changed the welfare laws (actually making the matter worse) and accepts blame for mass incarceration, I'm going to call it a plausible theory.

Create a class of people deprived of upward mobility, that most elusive of American unicorns, thus creating the basis of a slave state. The next caste are held in bondage by debt; your house, your car, your education, your health... yeah, they literally put a price on your life because life just isn't worth living if deductibles aren't involved. The next caste up the totem pole are the more comfortable sorts; jobs probably include higher management, investments. Not the super wealthy, but not worried about mortgage and student loan payments. At the top, we have the sacks of shit who have a good giggle when "trickle down" economics are mentioned because they piss on our heads and tell us it's raining. These are the people who are profiting off those in prison, and those helping to create laws that create a complacent slave state, sated with reality tv and professional sports to ever notice the erosion of rights.

Podesta Wikileaks verifies this:

-If half the girls in foster care get pregnant by 19, how much does that create a cycle of more kids in the foster system or putting their newborns up for adoption? Consider that there are many faith-based foster families which aren't real keen on the whole birth control issue and abortion is never the answer to them. "Keep your legs together" is rage-inducing. Yeah, rape happens. And birth control failures. And human stupidity. Shit happens. (Go tell a married couple the wife has to keep her legs together if she doesn't want kids and see how long it takes before they start laughing. ) That pregnant girl is left with a couple options: keep it and eek out an existence the best she can, or put it up for adoption. Either way, she's forced to give birth and plays her part in keeping the system going.

All this makes me wonder what part I've played in the future of my daughter, as well-intentioned as it was. I'll most likely never find out and so to channel my She-Hulk rage, I'm doing what I can to bring attention to pedogate because I owe it to my daughter. I am getting my Daenerys Targaryen on because I want to break the fucking wheel that enables the sale and rape of children. I am not the only woman who put a child to the system with hope for the best and now we find out it's a big fat lie and so I promise you, there is an army of infuriated and woke as fuck mama bears ready to gut a rotten system fucking with their children. And the sad thing is, if we count the mothers of kidnapped children, we're even bigger and more angry.

The system is clear. It is our enemy. It must be removed for safety of the country as a country that depends on a slave system will eventually face uprising. If you're not all up on your history, I suggest giving the French Revolution a go, because that's the direction we're heading. The average lifespan of an empire is 250 year and we're already at 240. It's not hard to see the decline this country is afflicted with; corporate masters telling us how bad our lives suck but their products make it all better, politicians that fuck fuck (the second fuck is intentional; the first for their constituents, the second is for how they were blackmailed with a kid) over the country they are supposed to represent and damage international relations by warmongering and trafficking, and a deliberate dumbing down to create a stupid and complacent citizenry willing to be sheep, led from thought to thought.

I so totally bet this was an experiment to see how many people were all, "Yeah I wanna live on a spaceship!"

We owe it to our future generations to stop fucking shit up royally. First step: accountability of the system by removing those when enable trafficking to happen. Convicted, hang them by their toe nails and treat 'em like pinatas. As far as I'm concerned, human traffickers, especially in child sex, they have revoked their human card. We cull violent animals for a fucking reason.

As hard as the media will try to push it out of the limelight, I will make my memes and share them. As long as the government stays the status quo, I will ask why the Franklin Cover Up, White House Call Boy Scandal, DynCorp and Halliburton trafficking people in the Eastern bloc, The Finders... why a country of supposed "free" people sell the flesh of their fellow man, woman, and child. How can we spread this brand of "democracy" across oceans when we traumatize our own populace? Is that not a dictatorship wrapped with a shiny bow?

America deserves better, especially if it wishes to set examples of awesome stuff for the rest of the world. Because right now, I think we're lacking in that department. Our health care sucks, our education system sucks, our economy sucks, our politicians suck... there is so much suck that a blackhole is forming and we're damn near at the event horizon.

Sorry for the rant, but I'm fucking pissed, bordering on rage. Pedogate has lit a fire under my ass the likes none have seen.

Red pilled my parents (dad wasn't hard to red pill, he's been reading about the CIA and military stuff for years... mom was a lower-federal employee and it took a couple months) and everyone I can; there are a lot of people informed, I've come to find out. And those who aren't, well, thanks to Dr Phil, his pedogate episode is a normie red pill. Never thought I'd say it, but thank you Dr. Phil.