A quote can change your life

Yeah, my dear friends, life is a mystery.

I am a very chill person but like any other human, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say: “You are the best!”

My glorious days after the tragedy I am about to tell you

These days, when we think that everything is "perfect" or that it could not be better, it is when we need to be alert.

I do not want to ruin you in case you are living the best of your life, but a peak of euphoria is a message to take a step back.

It happened with me.

I was working for the film industry, making my first short movie, I had money, a boyfriend, friends and I was travelling a lot.

My perfect bubble exploded on a Monday, when my boyfriend came to my house and said: “We need to talk.”

In less than 10 minutes, he destroyed me.

To sum up my drama, he chose the most horrible sentences to break up:

“I never felt anything for you”
“I never loved you”
“I was avoiding you”
“You mean nothing to me”
“But I am a man and I came here to tell you. My initial plan was to send you a WhatsApp message”

As you can imagine, his words broke my heart, my mind and my soul. It seemed that he had pushed me off a cliff. I survived but I was in pieces trying to understand:

- Why this is happening to me?
- Why he had to be so mean?
- Why? Why? Why?

After few months I found out that he is a sociopath (a subject I will leave for another post). So better for me that he left me. It could have ended up much worse this story.

Anyway, for months I lived lke a zombi. I couldn’t sleep, eat (I lost 10 kg), dance, smile or laugh. I went twice to a psychologist, paying £70 hour/session and she said to me at the end of the second and last session:

“I don’t know how I can help you.”

I was so hopeless… I had a writing block, well a life block.

Myself depressed and hopeless

It took me five months to laugh again and it was because of a picture. The guys from work photoshopped one of them as if he were Steve Wonder. I wasn’t expecting for that email and laughed spontaneously, very loudly. Then I shut up again, like a rock.

I also developed a supermarket fobia (haha now this is funny). I would go inside, look at the vegetables and leave, because the amount of options scared me.

Even my friends were tired of my depression. One day, a girl that I never met before was visiting my friend and she saw me looking down, not eating and asked me what was wrong.

I told her everything. She was so patient, she listened to me without interrupting and when I finished, she said:

“You know, there is a quote, I don’t know who said but is something like: ‘To get in the best condition of your life, you have to feel your worst.’ Now you are in your worst but one day you will be in your best. I hope it will be soon.”

From that day, something changed on me. I went back to the gym, I downloaded a book on my phone and slowly I recovered my confidence, my smile, my sense of humour.. it was like finding pieces of a puzzle at the beach sand.

It took me almost an year to get back to my 100% and in that time I learned a lot about myself. Now, I don’t care if I'm at the bottom or top of the mountain.

I know that I'm worth it and that's enough for me.

At the premiere of my first film at Prince Charles Cinema, in London

At Ascot Horserace, in Berkshire, England

Super happy at the Christmas party from work

❤Lots of love ❤ and positive vibrations! ✌

@marcelli