How do you feel, and what do you do when somebody is criticising or insulting you?
Be Selfish
I'm very sorry, yet the intention of someone providing me feedback is completely not of interest to me. Hey, don't get me wrong, I appreciate a compliment, I don't like being 'put on my place' and though I hardly ever feel insulted, I probably wouldn't like that either. But who cares? At the end all I want to do is take this negative or positive experience the like, and turn them into a life lesson for me. I know it's selfish to discard your intention, but I'm going to use your comment whether you meant it positively or negatively as a tool to learn new things and develop myself :)
Multiple Messages
Feedback, comments, criticism however you want to call them all contain multiple messages. Now this list above is just an example and definitely not limitative, yet have a look. What message would be most helpful to you. A message of Insult, Hurt, Compliment or Lesson? I mean, if you look hard enough you will be able to find an Insult in any Compliment, yet you will also be able to find a Compliment in any Insult. It's all a matter of practise and simply dissecting. Cut out what you cannot use, and only absorb what is useful to you.
Focus only on what's Useful
So what to do? It is very simple. Whenever somebody makes a comment regarding you, or anything that may concern you take the following steps:
SKIP the process of trying to figure out if this person likes you, wants to insult you, compliment you, or whatever. Do not try and weigh the 'judgement'. Judgement in comments is for people who don't want to be successful, it is simply not relevant to your success, only to your ego. So skip all that non-sense. Go straight to the point and ask yourself the following question:
"What is of use to me in the comment stated".
That is all you have to do!
Video Transcript:
Available soon!
great statement, i've experience criticisms before what i did is i wasn't angry, but it motivates me to do better everyday despite of criticisms. :)
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@cortexx good! :) And how do you know to be better? By listening to what people tell you. They are pointing out things you can improve, it is so easy, it's like you have life coaches all around you haha :)
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Your point of view is good ..
The most important advice is not to get angry
Great post from you, well done
Thanks for sharing
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Thanks @slimanepro! :)
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Awesome quick video, I like the music and the lightning as well. I like your perspective. Whether positive or negative criticism, take it and make it a positive. Winners takes failures and use them as opportunities! Cheers.
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Yes! :) I totally agree @jfitmisc
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Thanks, this was very helpful!! Upvoted!
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You're most welcome @skycornish Thanks for upvoting! :)
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Hey man! This is epic. You got audible voice. I learned something good here.
I'd like to be a friend here
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Thanks @bob-elr glad to hear you like the video :) I hope you will learn much more in the future and let those criticisms fly over your head like a giraffe's fart ;)
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Sure. I already turned a deaf to criticisms. Thanks bro.
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Hey @bob-elr you see when you ignore all criticism it may help you not to get hurt, but how is it gonna help you to learn new things? Therefore don't just block out the whole thing but select only those things that can be useful to you ;)
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From what you said, i rather listen to criticisms, pick what may benefit me, and discard the useless ones. If so, i found sense in that.
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@bob-elr yes exactly! :)
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You are doing great with your posts because you blog smart (which I indicated on my posts for new and older members). I agree with your view points and wish you more success. Upped.
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Thanks @Charles1 happy to see you out here :) Yeah I'm surprised by the amounts of comments and positive feedback, and mainly 240 people too the effort to actually follow me! wow!
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Welcome buddy...you have a new follower too (me). I am sure that you will be a big success here...I really love success stories. Keep steeming to more success and stay in touch
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Yes! :) let's keep in touch @charles1
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Welcome and more success.
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I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing this.
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Glad I could help you out @chanly! :) I hope you will read what I have to say tomorrow as well :)
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Great post. I like your straight forward message. Exactly how I feel but I find it difficult to articulate it like you do. Thanks
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@simply-me yeah it is sometimes hard to get it out in 60 seconds haha :) that's why I set myself the target of doing it in such a short time.
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Just do whatever the fuck you want because in the end, people are assholes and will judge you anyway.
Donald Trump masterfully demonstrated this feat. He's counterintuitive yet so ridiculously effective in breaking the rules of conventional wisdom. Novel achievement in my book!
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Yes he achieved something which was to soooooo many people inconceivable because they simply couldn't wrap their head around the fact that unconventional techniques are sometimes exactly what works.
I agree to do whatever you want as long as you don't break any laws or ethical boundaries.
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I think When someone criticizes, praises, insults us ..
Think once a fast-paced decision ...
Is it serious or not ...
More to insult the reply ...
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• Question the Perpetrator’s intention. Ask directly for an explanation:
Direct questions force the Perpetrator to make specific comments— probing for the truth usually makes them feel uncomfortable because they’re being called upon to own up to their insults.
• Turn the tables. Deflect the jab: "Are you having such a horrible, no- good day that you’re taking your frustrations out on me?" "Do you get your kicks trying to make people feel bad?"
• Humor can be an effective antidote. It shows that you’re up to their tests in jest! Using self-deprecating humor or having some quick comebacks on hand makes you laugh instead of squirm and throws them an unexpected curve. Some insults can be exaggerated, taken to extremes, and used to your advantage. Prepare for a likely attack on a perceived target (such as your height, weight, or hair loss) with some appropriate comeback or self-deprecating remarks. When you
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Whilst very valid points, it takes so much effort though. I don't want to spend that much time on somebody who's simply trying to tailbone me. Just pick the fruits and throw out the garbage and move on :)
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It is good to study every step you make, my friend
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Couple of beers with friends maybe =D
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Summary: filter the things that you will accept from other people, just focus on the things that would make you better.
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That is a great question to ask oneself. For me, if I then find no use in the negative comment somebody states, then I just think ”they’re not doing this TO me, they’re just doing it NEAR me”. :) Since we’re all responsible for our own inner reality.
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💌You are doing☺ great with 😇your 👍posts👌👌👌
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Thanks @bijoy80812 really happy to see you commenting!
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Excellent advice, @markdeheide. I couldn't have said it better after learning my lesson too late before a whale nuked me a few weeks ago... :) You got my follow, upvote and resteem for sure...
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ahh that sucks @positivesynergy thanks for following and resteem! :)
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Thanks :)
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You are absolutely right. As the saying goes, "What others say about us or behind our back is none of our business, so why get bothered?" Step forward and show happiness, it will kill them!
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@xxxirenexxx well I'm not just talking about what others say behind our back, also what they tell us in our faces :) but yeah, don't get bothered with it, just pick the positives.
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Hii @markdeheide
Your post is soo good (short and effective), this is the first post of you that I’m reading. I hope you will keep posting such useful posts.
I want to add something....!
Thank you
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Thanks @vinaykumarr That's a nice quote actually! :) Yes I will be posting 4-7 times a week :)
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Great people shared great post... :)
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thanks @murtaza78 happy to see you out here! :)
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hello @mark the idea is to take the positive and learn from negative comments, just as you indicate we can develop as people. I share your point of view and that is the actutud. regards...
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Thanks @glorieth glad to see you out here!
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to you @mark for taking the time to read the comments, a cordial and warm greeting from venezuela.
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Yeah no worries @glorieth I'm always checking all the comments. yet I got 100 comments on my latest post and I'm having to take the time to read them all haha :P
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Most of my time here on WB is spent lurking, reading, and sometimes commenting on people's settings. I enjoy a lot of them produced by veteran worldbuilders and I've seen a few rough ideas by less experienced people, or just a misstep by someone more experienced.
Regardless when people are sharing their worlds we have to respect that, it takes a lot of courage to share something you don't know if people will like or dislike. Even in the cases where there is an idea that isn't entirely too original, or too fleshed out, I always make a point to make my criticism CONSTRUCTIVE.
Idk, there are time's I've seen people give no effort criticisms that amount to little more than insults at the OP. We're a community so let's support each other and prop each other up, not tear each other down.
Just my two cents.
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Thanks @hassanawad I must be old but I don't know what these abbreviations stand for, WB, OP haha I just don't know.
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Haha, welcome, my friend
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You got a 12.50% upvote from @minnowfairy!
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Wow what a beautiful post! Excellent words, by the way you are man beautiful,Greetings from venezuela
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Aw thank you @adranav you look very beautiful too, yet your comment is even more beautiful speaking to me from the heart! Thanks! :)
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😍😘😘
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You got a 17.06% upvote from @upmewhale courtesy of @markdeheide!
Earn 100% earning payout by delegating SP to @upmewhale. Visit http://www.upmewhale.com for details!
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Why Hijack Negative Criticism When You Can Hi Jack it instead?
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Could do! :) @ilt-yodith
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You are an inspiration indeed! Within shortest period of time you are doing very well here. Your content are effective but precise, which is main strength of you as per my observation.
Being tuned with you, I want to quote " man can lie, garbage not". So, criticism is of more value than fake praise!
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Thanks @layesmia :) that's a good observation you made there at the end :)
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Just do not give a fuck about the opinions of others. You can also view it as a compliment if people hate you. At least you gave them the impression that they need to hate you, or they will not feel good about themselves.
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The problem with not giving a fuck, is that you also cannot appreciate the lessons to be learned. You simply chuck the whole message in the garbage, including bits that may be valuable ;)
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Not always. You can listen to them, yet you should not take it personal. People give their opinion, not the absolute truth for you.
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I’m so bad at not taking things personally but your question to ask yourself is a good one to remember!
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Hey @vincy it is okay to take it personal, why would you not? People always say to not takes things personal yet that's just an excuse to make you feel better. It is about you, take it personal, but only take stuff you can actually use to become better, not things that just tear you down ;)
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That’s a good point, when people say don’t take it personally I sometimes get offended lol
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@vincy hahah :) I personally hardly get offended :P so I'm sorry I cannot relate
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Haha no worries, that’s why we can share our different perspectives and help each other
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Yes! :) Love having you out here!
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I think When someone criticizes, praises, insults us ..
Think once a fast-paced decision ...
Is it serious or not ...
More to insult the reply ...
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me encanto tu post, es como mi lema "hasta a lo malo tiene su lado bueno" porque a todo se le puede sacar provecho y es necesario si quieres crecer como persona
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Definitely agree with this post. If someone tells you they don't like your content but also tells you what exactly you need to work on, their can ultimately be more beneficial than harmful to you in the long run.
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@design4crypto Exactly! :) They will usually tell you exactly what to change :)
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@markdeheide you always do good blogs, that's why I follow you
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Thanks @kreylatoledo I'm really happy to hear you like them! :)
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I love this message
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thanks @owaniofficial! happy to see you commenting!
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Agree! Feeling hurt when facing criticism is normal and understandable. I think it's important to recognize this feeling. But in order to go beyond ordinary, we need to train ourselves to see positively in everything.
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Yes @baiqunihasbi I totally agree.
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Great advice @markdeheide.
If ones gets to look good as you doing this, I am all in.
well.. just kidding...
Onto more important matters...
Resteemed because I feel everyone should see this. True it is hard sometimes to ignore judgments and Insults but these are what we need to fuel us forward I believe.
I have still not posted a single blog post here but plan to do so soon. It is my intention to have my blog focused mainly on INSPIRATION and LOVE. I am working on my first blog post for weeks now trying to get it perfect. This is now I see mostly because of fear of criticism. Well you motivated me and I will finish it up tonight. Thank you. (followed you for your genuineness)
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@gabbingster well don't try to make it perfect :) just release whatever you have now, and listen to the feedback from other steemians so you can improve your next one ;)
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Thank you for the advice. I will post it perhaps tonight.
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@gabbingster If you want to make me truly happy leave out the 'perhaps' :) And please let me know when it is up I want to check it out! :)
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OK. I will. Thank you.
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Hi Mark, I have finally posted my first blog post. Hope you will find the time to check it out. It is a little lengthy. Thank you for your support.
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OW I just saw this I'm gonna check it out right now! :)
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This post has been upvoted and picked by Daily Picked #31! Thank you for the cool and quality content. Keep going!
Don’t forget I’m not a robot. I explore, read, upvote and share manually ☺️
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Thanks @dailypick that means a lot to me! :)
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What are you sorry about?
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