Random Musings 003: Are you a bad communcator or a just bad listener?

"You Don't Understand me!"
These are the four words that must've been ringing across the man's mind as I continue to hammer in my thoughts and ideals.

"This is how you should do it!"
I continued to hammer my utopia of ideas, increasing in volume and repetition of what I was communicating to my friend, in hopes that with enough luck he would swallow in what I have to say and submit to my proposition.

Image from "The Independent"

Does he just not get it? Does he not understand english? Is he THAT dumb?

I continue to find reasons to justify my actions, I did what I had to do and at the end of the day.

My proposition would help his and my position in the workplace and yet after explaining all of that, he still did not listen to me. I stormed off, possibly said something rude on my way out .

Has this ever happen to you? It happens to me on a daily basis.

It's easy for me to condemn the other party when trying to get a point across. After all, I got the facts right, This is the truth and he should understand the truth! Why does he not get that?
(I throw myself a pity party, I play to myself the world's smallest violin. )

Image from Giphy

But in this particular moment, It must've been God's angels who suddenly decided to drop in a sense of self reflection.
Is it the content? Is it the delivery? Or is It just because I'm a bad communicator?

What makes a good communicator anyways?

Two parties shouting at each other but no one understanding one another?
A bad argument with a salesperson; an employee, a family member or even your spouse!?
Both parties working on their delivery and their own ideas and opinions but no one deciding on the resolution. It gets ugly.

The best communicators understand the other party's needs.
They know what you want;
From what you say,
How you say it,
How your body reacts.

The way your eye twitches when you shout in disbelief,
The way you shy away at the sheer mention of someone's name
The way your eyebrows frown when you explain multi-level marketing (any one can relate? haha!)

In this age of expression everyone has something to say, but have we lost the art of listening?

Image Source

Sure sometimes there are a lot of idiots out there who really are impossible to deal with. But the least, as our own responsibility, get the facts right first and let the other person be heard!

Maybe if we listened first, fully understand the other party and the situation before we construct a reply; the outcome of an argument would have a totally different result?

Maybe we've been too quick to judge?

Stop and listen first. Wouldn't that save us a world of embarrassments?

I went back to him an hour later and continued our conversation.
This time I decided to just let him speak.
He vented his frustration,
He complained; He exploded; He accused;
In the end he stopped and stared out into the horizon.

We stood there in silence for a good few minutes. Time passes by particularly slowly when you're standing still.

"Alright, So how shall we deal with this?" he asks gently.

"It can't be solved now. Don't worry, i don't blame you, and it's not your fault. I'll let the office know and we'll figure this out tomorrow."

He nodded, and we both went our separate ways.

In the end,

He wasn't such a bad guy after all.

---

Thanks for visiting this page! If you've enjoyed this maybe you might enjoy some of my previous posts? Check them out here!

Food Blog

Concr.eat Foods 002: Deen Maju, The Best Nasi Kandar in Penang?
Concr.eat Foods 001: The Best Kept Secret in Penang you've never heard of?

Life Blog

Random Musings 002: Forget and Don't Slow Down
Random Musings 001: Declutter

Lifestyle Blog

The Physics of Activities 001: Put your feet Fore-ward

Cheers!

---