Facility 2

What's your take on the Fridge incident, Mikey?

I tapped my pencil against my lips as I fixed my desk colleague Mikey with a steely gaze as if he were a shaved Gerbil protesting that it was too tight a fit in there.

The Fridge Incident? Is that what you are calling it? It was just an accident, shit like that happens all the time.

Mikey shook his head as he attempted to write some shoddy code for the Test Team to sneer at.

An accident? That was no accident. Maybe you know something you ain't telling me, Mikey?

I raised an eyebrow in a way which I knew Mikey found daunting.

Look, there are two plug sockets. The Microwave and the Fridge. Someone probably just flicked them both off without thinking.

Mikey seemed confident. Maybe a little too confident. I grabbed my crotch and made a grunting sound as I rhythmically squeezed it.

What the fuck are you doing? Stop that?!?

Ugh, Urgh... URGH!!!

I flung my hand out in Mikey's direction as if I had ejaculated half a pint of Cap'n Bill's Tartare Sauce at him.

He flinched. As well he might, If it had been for real he could have ended up four months pregnant. Such is the potency of my seed.

Tell me, Mikey, you like music?

I growled post-coitally at him.

What? What are you talking about? Of course, I like music?

He grimaced no doubt lamenting the lack of Boom-Dawg Oyster Sauce in his life. He waved limply at his giant headphones as if to emphasise his so-called liking for music. I noticed that they were Beats headphones. Pfft, he didn't like music that much then.

I nodded slowly at him, my eyes thinning like an American President in their second term's hair.

Good job you like it then. It won't hurt so bad when Johnny Bigballs is banging away at your Hairy Banjo then eh?

I flicked a post-it pad along the desk at Mikey who's face was crumpling in horror at the very idea of a hairy banjo being banged.

I have told you until I am blue in the face. I am not going to end up in Prison. So enough with the prison and me getting done up the hokey cokey jokes, ok? Or I will...

I leapt to my feet and took a step toward Mikey. My hand was curling into a fist as if I was squeezing the milk from an emaciated goat in the Mongolian steppes.

Or you will what?

I snarled at him. Mikey was a useful man to have in your pocket but sometimes he needed reminding of just who wore the saddle and ate the straw.

Mikey stood also, his knees slightly bent as if trying to shit in a can.

Maybe I will...

He lifted his fists but before he could go any further a scream rent the air.

We both turned in its direction.

The hall? Quick, something's happened!

We ran for the hall, slamming open the door to see the source of the screaming.

There, beside the elevator was an overturned bucket. A vast soapy puddle was spreading and slowly sinking into the carpet tiles.

A group of people stood around it, shouting and pointing in horror. Including Angles, who looked to have been the source of the screaming. The puddle slowly dissipated as it soaked into the floor.

I turned to Mikey.

What is immediately below here?

Mikey paled.

Fuck, it's the server room?

I frowned and shook my head.

Still think it was an accident? The Fridge and now this, a spilt bucket?

Mikey twitched as if dreaming he was a dog dreaming of being a man.

I am going to find out who is behind this but first...

I nodded to the stairs.

We had better see if we can stop it before it reaches the Servers.

Mikey nodded, his inner woman grateful for my mannity.

We both ran for the stairs...