CD

Daddy, what's this?

The little lady walked toward me holding a shiny silver disc out at arm's length. Suspicion was writ large on her five -year-old wise face.

I nodded and narrowed my eyes.

So the time I had been dreading had come. She had decided that now was the time to challenge me. Well, I might be a bit hungover but I would fight.

It was with a heavy heart that I readied myself to bludgeon her cruelly to the floor before she could get any nearer with her devil-discus weapon.

What does the writing say?

She held up her sickeningly sharp weapon and indeed, there was writing on one side.

I lowered the iron hand, saving her from the killing blow.

Oh, it says Adele.

Adele? What's that?

I made a small snickering noise. Like a radish caught in a jar.

It's a singer. Your mummy likes her.

The little lady turned the disc in her hand over and over.

I don't understand, what is this?

She thrust the silvery thing out at me.

I took it from her and put it down beside me.

It's a CD, lass. You know? A compact disc.

The little lady made a face like an old gnarled stick. I was obviously being shit at the explaining game. That's what hangovers do though. They make you a bit shit at parenting.

But what's it for!?

It's a CD, a compact disc, it's got music on it.

What, music? What do you mean?

You put it in a cd player and it plays songs.

The little lady looked incredulous at such an idea then suspicious as if I was pulling her leg.

Show me!!

Her mouth was set in a grim line. It was patently obvious she wasn't going to believe any of daddy's nonsense stories.

Ah, we don't have a cd player anymore.

I shrugged my shoulders apologetically. It was the 21st century after all.

Are you teasing me, daddy?

No seriously, lass. We used to listen to music on CDs.

I didn't bother mentioning vinyl. The conversation was getting difficult enough.

She looked unconvinced, thoughts raving through her head. Then her eyes lit up.

But music comes from Alexa, why would you need CDs?

By now my brain was struggling. It was a Sunday. I had been awake through the night with the little boom and then subsequently up since ten to five as this is his new dawn getting up time.

We didn't have Alexa back in the day lass.

No Alexa? But how did you listen to music?

I took a long and deep breath.

We listened to CDs because we didn't have Alexa or the internet.

The little lady got up and exasperatedly shook her head.

No internet and no Alexa? Oh very funny, Daddy. I'm going to tell Mummy you keep teasing me today, it's not funny

She stomped off.

It was my turn to shake my head. A world without Alexa and the internet? Whoever could imagine such horror??