Between Fake Accents and Bleaching Cream - A Nigerian Girl's More Obvious Debacle

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

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I am mostly irritated by things that are not authentic. Things like a Nigerian girl who drops her friend off at the airport and returns home with a British accent. That is annoying, blaad, innit?

I guess I should sneak this in now:

WARNING! THIS is a venting post. If you aren't cool with people's bold opinions, DON'T read. In that case, I'll suggest you just skip to the bottom and resteem for your followers who love the good stuff. 😉 Shall we?

The Brits are amazing folks. The subways, football, the world wars, colonization to mention but a few. These guys possess the midas touch on most anything. So I totally get when every kid in the class decide to roll their socks to the ankle because that is what this kid does, who has hair on the back of his neck, backflips, and will beat up anyone. I totally get. Especially if you are the fat tub with K-leg and smelly breath, who cannot manage five hours electricity in your metropolis, and your education system is a bull’s shit. If you are Nigeria. You will do anything to escape from yourself, irrespective of the trade off.

Let me tell you a little story so you can empathize with my angst. Timaro is my friend. To me she is just what most girls are: cute, beautiful. But the rest of the world, including herself, think she is adoringly beautiful you will want to eat her. I must clarify that I'm not the kind to reduce a beautiful phrase like “eat her” to some human orgy. I just mean everyone thinks she is velvet beautiful you will want to chew on her skin.

Timaro turns heads of both genders. Much of this because she is a “yellow sisi.” She is Caucasian-fair. (My tribute to proper English). When ritualists chase hunchbacks, men chase Timaro because of her fair skin.

So one day Timaro and I were in the same venue just a few tables apart. On my table I overheard two strangers gossip about her. One asked the other if she thought Timaro was Nigerian.

“She is so beautiful. I wish she had a good accent,” one of the girls farted.

All the while I was holding my own, but not anymore.

“You guys mean to say that I don't have a ‘good accent?’ Who even defines that?”

I told them how disappointed I was at such logic, considering that they were Nigerians, although they spoke like natives of nowhere.

Since this accent argument is usually a familiar terrain, I was armed with my homework. My friend once moved to Scotland for just a year and started speaking like he didn't spend a single week of his 23 years in Nigeria, when in truth he only just left Nigeria for the first time. So I brought out my points again.

I asked the girls if they knew that the discipline of Sociolinguistics even accommodates variances in accents. They didn't.

I challenged their faulty concept of an “English” or “American” accent, and rather looked at practical cases of regional accents in the Americas and everywhere else, like say Welsh English versus Yorkshire accents, or Floridian and Pacific Westerner accents. Did they know there were hundreds of such regional accents? They didn't.

I enjoyed to ace this argument. They tried to shoot back but they kept making a case for proper pronunciation. Did they know that was another subject entirely? They didn't.

“What if you guys are told that the Queen's English accent has changed a great deal over 30 years, according to an acoustic analysis?” There was this wow gasp.

I asked the girls what particular accent they were speaking with: which one they would approve for a village boy like me who craved to be posh. They were irritated at my sarcasm.

Then I dropped my “finish him” punch. I told these girls that it was my opinion that adopting some foreign accent was a display of inferiority complex. Cultural complex. Comparable to using bleaching cream to look like my yellow sisi Timaro so you'll be considered beautiful.

“Ever wondered why this is very prevalent of Africans? I've met lots of Germans, Frenchmen, Dutch who all didn't seem to be hasty about tagging their accents “bad” and adopting some hybridized stuff from wherever in the name of a foreign accent. But the Nigerians? It's a passport to social elitism. I hate the radio stations and TV show hosts for this. It turns me off and I tune off.”

I wanted to drop the mic at that point.

So, my friends here (especially from the Nigerian community) let us talk about this accent issue. Do you fault my argument? Posit a better one, I want to learn too. Have an interesting accent story?, let's hear it.


Further the discuss by dropping your COMMENTS. UPVOTE to feed a minnow. I've not had power for five straight days and I exhausted my budget on running off grid electricity. That hurts my Steemit presence 😟. I hope to steem myself a solar power box in the very near future. RESTEEM and FOLLOW if you think I earned it.

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Being authentic to yourself is the most important thing, if they want to mimic another because it makes them happy they should be free to do this.

It won't change who they are inside, and you know this mister. <3

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope you get your powerbox soon.

Thanks, big bro for always stopping by. Yeah, we live in hope 😉❤

Authenticity should be much more important than attempting to adhere to a certain look or persona. I agree that it has roots in insecurity. Sadly, every society has a mold that people want to force themselves into, regardless of the consequences. Cultural assimilation is too pressured and pushed. I much prefer someone be true to themselves. Fake people make me nauseous.

Unfortunately lots of folks still need to "emancipate [themselves] from mental slavery." Robert's bones turn in his graves in irritation, I guess.

Mental emancipation can be difficult, until one realizes that they have been holding the key to their own chains the whole time.

na all those radio presenters dey appall me passs....and they are complete yoruba girls 0!!!! And what hurts me the most is the subconscious message they passout for younger girls to adopt...and most these girls "i think" don't have the ability to talk like the way they do....probably because of their exposure..
It's sickening man...walai!!!!
Like Malcom-X said..we claim to be part of a system that we know deep doen that we are not a part of

Don't even go there. You'll laugh at how I tune off from those stations once they start it.

they should be humble like Kendrick said....

nice one

First they must sit down...😁

I'm Polish so English is my second language. I moved to the UK few years ago and had a rough time first few months because of my very thick Eastern European accent. I still do speak with it but I've managed to British it up a bit ;) because I felt like I had no other choice. By now, I still sound Polish to British people but some other English speakers, especially non-native, find it a bit harder to distinguish where I'm from because of how mixed my accent is. And you know what? it sucks. It sucks the accent you speak with has such a big impact on how people perceive you.

Hmm. I wish society were less inquisitive into our differences, at least to an extent that makes us comfortable with the way we are. But I'm sure you won't use that "Britished" accent if you have need to borrow the queen's language in Warsaw or anywhere in Poland. That is the irony about the Nigerian kind. They have managed to make it posh back down home. And that sucks.

well, it's just my accent now whenever I speak English, it has naturally changed and evolved. But i do get your point and it obviously resemblances an insecurity issue among those Nigerian girls...

Nice!!!
Upvoted.

Thanks, friend ❤

Wow! You always write some powerful stuff. Argument well made!! Why should she have to be anything other people expect or want her to be. Stay true to who you are is what I say!

Very true sir akpan I've seen people take on accents after a short time and I agree it could be a cultural inferiority complex I think people also do it to appear more cultured and announce that they have travelled. Don't even get me started on the horrors of bleaching creams and all the other garbage that is sold to women that teaches them to feel inferior. Such things make me sad when I think about them too much.

I'm glad you agree. I was watching this show that made me uneasy on TLC: "Toddlers and Tiaras." The pageant, all that foundation on babies in an effort to make them "beautiful." Call me old school but it irritated me to my marrows. If you haven't seen it maybe check on YouTube for an episode or two. Really sad what we've become.

That's not old-school it's normal to feel that way, children shouldn't be judged on their beauty they should be out playing and having fun.

I like rants for the most part - and yours is no exception. :D

Sorry to hear about the electric issue... Take care @misterakpan!

:fistbump

That feels good. Yeah, it's not been any better ever since i was born. I guess I just have to get used to it. Lol. Sad predicament.

So what is it you need? Some kind of solar battery? Hopefully Steemit will be a benefit to you in the long term, I can understand (to a certain degree) your frustration...

This power box right here holds the keys to 80 of my 100 problems 😊
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Cost is about $70. Reasonably priced, but not one I can afford right now. Maybe another couple weeks or so.

... And, thank you for that randowhale loving ❤😉

Everyone is so busy trying to appear to be something that they are not, that they miss out on the experiences they could have had. Had they just been who they were in the first place. I think we, each one, have been guilty of this fallacy at times in our life. It's only recognising it within ourselves and putting it aside that it becomes apparent in our peers. A gentle prompt may be better than a slap to the face. :-) A thought provoking post again,my friend.
~Mr Dingo

Hi sir ..

Hello, buddy. I see you. I'll go check out your blog 😉

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good post to ^___^

This matter has been beaten more times than the proverbial bush. I do agree with you to large extent, it did start as a case of inferiority complex but has become more of a result of social conditioning.

I do hope we evolve past it as a country.