Why Good Resolutions Are Bullshit! Forget it!

in life •  7 years ago 

good resolutions.png

The first day of 2018 and I think some of you woke up late because the entered the new year with a huge celebration. :D


For me its already a tradition what I will tell you now.
When I speak with people about a new year many say following things:


The next year I will finally begin to lose weight.

The next year I will definitely eat healthier.

The next year I will start to look for a girlfriend.


Next year....
Next year....
Next year...


Well, I always encourage those people. It was a time I had this attitude myself until I finally realized that this attitude is bullshit!

And I am telling it those people. Not in the drastic way I write it here but I ask the question: Why did you wait so long to start a change?

The answer I got sounds often like this: A new chapter is beginning, and I want to start it right.

misguided.png
Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that this attitude is misguided.
Why you have to wait until a new year begins to change something in your life? And honestly its a lack of responsibility?

Why? I will explain you why.


When we do it like that, setting us goals for the next year we are limiting ourselves and giving control to the circumstances. We are allowing a change of the year to dictate our new goals although we can start them immediately whenever we want.

Let me ask you following question: How often when you had a good resolution for the next year you kept it entirely? Be honest with yourself. I know that I failed every time. Yes, every time!

Illusion.png

It's an illusion that a change of a year, or also a change of a month has more power to bring forth a difference and the matching result. A change of year has not this kind of power. You just think that it has that kind of power, but it doesn't have it.

In my opinion, the only thing you lose is time. And time is precious. I am not saying that good resolution for a new year is bad. I am doing it myself, but it's a different thing when you put all your trust into it, believing that the new year will be different, because of its a new year. Folks it's just a new year! Do you feel different today compared to yesterday?

alterntive attitude.png

Instead to wait for a change of the year or month you could start immediately when you want to achieve something. A new year doesn't give you more power. Today its a day like yesterday but now we have 2018 and yesterday was 2017.

Restarting.png

We fail in our ways. Often we will fail. This is a human process and it's necessary to get wiser and better.

One example: When you want to lose weight then start your journey of losing weight! And when you have a weak day and ate a lot of unhealthy food, don't condemn yourself.


Self-condemnation is the worst prison ever.
Restart again. Restart! Restart Restart!


You are not beginning where you started; you are on a good way. Just because you had a weak day, it doesn't mean you have to start from zero. No, restart from your current point and go on. Restart every time until you reached your goals. The good thing is that you can do it when you decide it.


You don't need to wait for a special season, for a certain month or for a change of the year. You can start it right now.

Take the responsibility and start, when you have set your goal.


Am I saying that this attitude will guarantee you success?
Of course not. Far away with that.

Nothing will guarantee you success, its more that you understand not to limit yourself, not to push the control to something that has not the power you believe it has.


You know which attribute I like the most?

The power to decide.png

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So sehe ich das auch, wenn man nicht bereit ist, hier und jetzt es zu ändern, wird es auch nichts mit dem Wandel im nächsten Jahr. Das ist alles Krampf und Müll. Jetzt sich ändern, oder es sein lassen. How Simple and easy is that ;-)

So sehe ich das auch :)

So sehe ich das auch :)

Excellent advice, you made me think about such a serious topic ... I also think that changes must occur at the moment when you conceive them. You must clearly represent what you want, you must be persistent in your plans. Most importantly, changes occur in the head ... thoughts are material. Assigned a goal - be persistent and begin to change yourself today ... and not through time.
Thank you

Great comment. So true what you are saying. I am happy that I could spread some​ value :)

You're absolutely right, the only time that really exists is the present!

Yes :)

I really like your way of looking at it "You are not beginning where you started; you are on a good way. Just because you had a weak day, it doesn't mean you have to start from zero. No, restart from your current point and go on. Restart every time until you reached your goals." we are sometimes too black and white, and we see one misstep like failure and that we have to restart from zero. But in fact we are on our way, we just need to restart. Thank you for this advice I will keep it in mind

You are honoring me with your comment. thank you very much :)

I totally agree with you @modernpastor , I don't believe in new years resolution as well. Whenever we want to start something new in our lives, like a diet or a new regimen we can ALWAYS start it NOW or immediately and there's no need to wait for the 1st day of the year to do it. If we want to achieve something we can always set a goal and start it right away, consistency and dedication to achieve the goal is the baseline of the success of whatever we want to achieve not when we started the it.
Thank you very much @modernpastor. Have a Happy New Year to you and your loved ones!

Thank you @leahlei again a meaningful​ comment from you. Thanks for sharing it.

You are totally right! That's why I have no problem to say that I'll continue the way I ended 2017, because I already gave over 100% and I will continue to do so!

But I still have a new years resolution that I intend to keep my focus on and even if I might fail or if there are down-phases - if I keep moving, I'll reach my goal. You can guess what it is if you want :)

And by the way - do you have a goal for this year?

Oh and I nearly forgot - I'm also interested in the chinese new year - which is I think around 16th of February - which means in that timeframe - it is still 2017 - the year of the fire rooster. :) (my year btw - so I'll try to get out every single drop out of it)

From what I observed you are really giving more than 100%.
For me, it's clear that you will reach massive success I truly believe that.
And I hope I can be a part of it :)

Yes, I have one but it#s not so much in my hand.
A year without injuries ^^This would be the greatest for me right now.

You are interested in the Chinese​ new year? Hows that? :)

I can sign everything you said.

While I would beg to differ, too :-)

Because you yourself gave the best example on it.

As a habit the end of the year gives occasion to reflect on what was going on all year long and what might and should happen next year. To pick that up and make a topic out of it ends often in resolutions. When another year went by and we notice that we failed in realizing what we promised to ourselves than it just shows our weakness or that the intention was not strong enough. So it is actually NOT the resolution but the self condemnation and regret what hinders us. You pointed that out.

If one makes resolutions long enough and continues to fail on them one might eventually recognize the mistake in this approach. Of course, there are always people who take their resolutions and condemnations with them in the grave. So this people serve us as examples and should be thanked for. Otherwise we wouldn't know or be so impressively reminded on our own flaws.

So I would say: yes, people, make resolutions & be just forgiving when you happen to fail.

Whaaaat a comment! Great.
Thanks for that. It was a pleasure to read it.

Are you fully recovered?

Thanks! :)

Yes, Christmas & family business got me healed. And medicine and not hanging in front of the screen that much as well.

For you I wish no injuries as I know you depend on a healthy body more than others. When I have an injured foot, I can still work or limb to my office. Though I think you are going to be an excellent coach once you quit your career as a player. That's what you are going to do, no? LOL. I am just guessing but would be interested to know.

Die meisten Menschen haben ja für alles immer Ausreden :-) Es gibt ein altes chinesisches Sprichwort, das mir zu deinem guten Post einfällt: Wenn nicht jetzt, wann dann?

So ist es :) und dieses Wann dann, kann sehr mächtig sein.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

This is the reason why I don't celebrate new years the way others do. If I want change I put in for the work now, not on Monday- the first of the week, and not on Jan 1- the first of the year. It makes no sense yet the whole world is captivated by this concept. It really is a way to promote procrastination.

Overall, Good post man. Sorry for the rant but your post got me fired up!

Thank you for your great comment.
You don't​ need to apologize, I like comments where you see that the person made his thoughts.

So True ! Sometimes later means never

Exactly. It's often that way.

I agree with your use. I will also try to follow in accordance with this.

Thanks my friend :)

You're most welcome.

AWESOME! :D

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Thanks!

Good blog
You are right
We set big goals but only achieve 50 to 90% of it

Thank you my friend :)

Deine Posts sind echt immer sehr gut als Motivation zu gebrauchen - Und wenn sie von jemandem kommen, dem sie offensichtlich sehr geholfen haben, ist das auch sehr authentisch und glaubhaft :)
P.S.: Der Chat spinnt bei mir aktuell, hab mich mal ausgeloggt^^

Vielen Dank :) Es ist erbauend das zu hören.
Das mit dem Chat habe ich auch schon bemerkt.

And the resources we use for fireworks is ridicilous. For me, it was amazing when I saw it for the first time. Not every year or celebration. Seems a waste.

Thanks for sharing your perspective! I agree with you that everything can be started right now because now is the only time we have. We will never be in the next year because it is always this day, this moment of now.

Peace, Love, Gratitude!

Great comment :) Thanks for sharing it my friend :) We should use the moment we have.

You have some really good blogs
Can you give some lessons about blogging
I'm kind of new to blogging

Hey, ​my friend :) Thanks for this praise.
I have written some posts about that for newcomers.
You can scroll through my feed to find them.

What I can give you right now is that you should write about the topic you like :)
Don't​ try something because​others​r are doing it. Show this community what excites you.
Try to read a lot here and bringt meaningful comment like you did here. And the most important thing is that you need to be patient​.It's​s a long way here :)

K thank you

You are welcome :)

Hoping that this New Year brings to you newly found joy, prosperity, and everything else you hope for. Have a wonderful New Year.

Thank you really much :)
I wish you the same.

That's why no resolutions only small goals which seems realistic and achievable i try to achieve and put my all energy behind that :)

That is great @blazing :)

Start right now and don't limit yourself . don't wait for special season :)

Yeeeeeeees :)

life is more than we understand it

Surely, it's a case of whatever works best? And we are all different. Each to their own? If you suddenly decide to change something about yourself but New Year's been and gone, sure, you might as well start straight away. But there's nothing wrong with waiting until New Year if you make your decision late in the year. If it helps you focus.

I might go to the gym in the New Year. Hardly a resolution and I do love / miss going to the gym. I hardly need to go and it would hardly be a resolution but if it helps me focus / motivates me (setting Jan 1 as an all-important start-date), it's hardly a problem.

I quit smoking Friday 13th of October. The date had an easy to remember significance (though I'm not at all into superstitions / stupid traditions). I just liked the date so that I could easily check against the progress I've made without having to keep a record on a calendar / in a diary (not exactly difficult to do, but I don't bother with either).

So, whilst I admire your sentiment, I can't really say I agree with your view. Interesting post, all the same. :)

Thank you @zool237 for this detailed comment. yes, you are right when it helps​ to focus you it's​ a good thing.

People will find endless excuses not to change and to keep things the way they are, simply because it's more comfortable this way. We all find excuses, the only difference is that some of us take responsibility for this and don't lie to ourselves, which leads to a point where we don't want excuses and instead want results - that's when the change happens.

Nice written my friend :)

I completely agree with you on this one! If you really want to make a serious change to a certain aspect in your life you must be willing to do it NOW and not later.

Also - I feel like new year resolutions could be disheartening when you dont follow through and are more likely to give up. If the attitude about it is altered to a more realistic approach then you are less likely to give up when things get tough.

Wishing you many blessings for this year @modernpastor.

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This is really great advice @modernpastor! 👍

I too believe, that many of us let situations dictate our behaviour instead of taking charge of our choices at that moment, regardless the situation.

I actually used to wait for reasons such as new years or birthdays before actually committing to a change/goal, and usually, as you have said, I ended up failling or giving up.

And I think a lot of it has to do with the fear of change and procrastinating. The moment I realised that this way of thinking was so limiting and only repeating the same outcome (failling) over and over again, I decided to stop and start by making my choices here and now instead of waiting for the 'right' moment.

The only thing we loose is time! Wow that’s so true... A really great article to read. It makes a lot of sense.