hello @artsygoddess,
Well done dude I know how hard it can be to pour your heart out on here, I think this post is a good way to process and address this.
I think there should be more talk about these struggles all over the place but in general.
The Steemit community has proved my demons wrong every time, So much support has made me spill my guts out more and more.

While I know some about this for personal experience and from chatting to you on discord to see you share this has helped you and anyone else who is suffering and struggling with similar demons that may read this. Hugs and good vibes being sent your way : ).