The Foster care system through my eyes Pt. 4

     

     All I saw was a shadow cover the left side of my face.  I knew for sure that we were going to get down right there in the hallway.  He stopped right in front of me and looked me dead in the eyes. He had fire in his eyes as he stared into my face.  He turned around and started smiling.  Maybe he was just gonna start teasing me instead of bashing my skull in.  The other kids began to laugh in anticipation of what this kid was gonna say.  Of course I stood there like an idiot.  Than the most surprising thing happened.  The kid started to make fun of all the other kids there.  Screaming at the top of his lungs that nobody better mess with me.  I just stood there with a puzzled look on my face.  Did this guy just defend me.  I think he did but he must have knocked me out and I was only dreaming that he was standing up for  me.  He walked up to me and said "What's up I'm Danny."  I stretched my arm out and dapped him up.  From that day on we would become inseparable.  We tried out for the Junior Varsity team together and even though I wasn't good enough to start we stayed best of friends.  I finally learned the true meaning of "Don't Judge a book by it's cover." Even though we were best friends I never told him about me being adopted or anything about my past.  

     

     Growing up in foster care isn't easy at all on the child going through it.  Most feel rejection and a great emptiness inside of themselves.  Not only children in foster care but children who know they are adopted.  All my life I felt alone and empty inside.  Even after meeting Danny I still felt like I didn't belong anywhere.  Like I said earlier we weren't poor but you try to buy school clothes for six kids.  I guess that's why I never had any expensive sneakers or the latest Jansport book-bag.  I remember the time my mother bought me the bootleg pumps(sneakers).  I was the laughing stock of the class for as long as I wore them sneakers.  That was in sixth grade.

     

     It was the middle of 1998 and I was about to finish up my freshman year in high school.  It looks like I was gonna survive after all.  Nothing too crazy happened and I was happy.  I was best friends with the most popular kid in school and he didn't care that I didn't have name brand clothing.  We were like brothers.  He looked out for me in the hallways and I looked out for him in the classroom.  That year we lost every single game we played.  No I'm not kidding, every single game.  We sucked big time.  But I loved playing because it got me out of the house.  Even though I was already 13 I was not allowed to do much of anything.  It was as if I was still that little 4 year old boy who didn't know English.  It frustrated me so much to not be allowed to have friends over and do the normal things kids do.  But I listened and obeyed to my mother and never did anything too crazy.  The only real thing I could do and get away with was GIRLS.  I could see them at school, games, practice and any school related activities.

     

     But I didn't have any game at this young age so I never did score with the ladies.  But I remember my first girlfriend and I cannot believe that she agree to go ou me.  Even my best friend Danny was shocked when he saw me walking down the hallway with her.  But like I said I had zero game.  At that time I was only 13 and all I was really into was sports.  So instead of trying to know more about her all I did was talk about basketball.  As you can imagine I was probably ranked as the worst boyfriend in history.  Even with all that I was still  surprised when she broke up with me.  Being a teenager and dealing with heartbreak and no one  talk to about it was extremely difficult.  But as we all know in life I eventually got over it.

     

     Now it was the middle of 1998 and school was about to finish.  The streets were still littered with beer cans and miscellaneous garbage from the Puerto Rican Day festival on Knickerboker Ave. 

Knickerboker Ave. festival in Bushwick Brooklyn

 If you have never been in New York City for the Puerto Rican day festivities you don't know what you are missing.  I remember every June the neighborhood transformed in to mini Puerto Rico, and the day of the big parade in Manhattan car horns would be from sunrise til well after sunset.  It was one of the special things that I enjoyed about my neighborhood.

     With the school year ending parent teacher conference was coming up.  I never failed any tests and I always did all my class work.  So I was not nervous at all.  That time came for me and my mother to go to school so that she could speak with all my teachers.  The only thing I was nervous about was any all my friends seeing me with my mother.  I still had not told my friend Danny that I was adopted.  As the walked though the hallways I tried to not be seen.  All it would take is one glanced at me and my mom and people would know she wasn't my real mother.  So far so good, all of my teachers were giving good reports on my academic achievements in school.  And my mother was beaming with joy.  The last class we had to go to was Ms. Lou's English class.  We walked in the room and she stood up and in an overly enthusiastic voice she said " welcome to my classroom I am Ms. Lou.  I have heard so much about you and all the things you accomplished when you attended Bushwick High." She was speaking to my older sister who had attended this very school 15 years prior.  While she attended my school she put up some very high academic scores in all subjects.  So among the older teachers she was like in legendary student.  So naturally when I began my school year every teacher asked if I was related to her and that I had some very big shoes to fill.  What's my teacher Ms. Lou stopped blabbing about how great my sister was they got down to business.  I thought that I was in the clear because I never did anything wrong in her class.  Unfortunately that's not the way things play out.  Ms. Lou started off by saying that I was a very bright and talented young man but Danny was distracting me.  That statement alone made the next year the worst year of my high school career.  My mother sat there with a puzzled look on her face because she had never heard of my friend Danny.  I never felt the need to speak about my friends because she never allowed me to hang out with any of them.  Ms. Lou notice the puzzled look on my mother's face so she asked " Do you guys know who Danny is? I seem you did because they are always together in class and out of class.  They are even on the same basketball team." My mother's face turned bright red as my sister translated everything my teacher said.  Ms. Lou did not try to make Danny seem as a bad person, but that is how my mother took it.  It was almost as if I was in a Charlie Brown cartoon and all I heard was "whomp whomp whomp".

     

     We left the school in a hurry and as soon as we got in the car my mother let me have it.  She screamed at me in Spanish saying I was putting my future in jeopardy.  How I shouldn't have friends and the only friends I really have is a dollar in my pocket.  Never understood that saying until I was much older.  But even now as an adult I can say that in that very moment she was wrong.  Danny was a real friend.  She continued screaming at me all the way home, up the stairs and into my bedroom.  The worst part about it is that summer vacation was around the corner and I somehow managed to get myself in trouble.  But it was what she said next that devastated me.  She told me I was no longer allowed to associate with Danny at all.  In my mind I thought "how would she know".  But she hadn't finished speaking.  She then proceeded to say that I will no longer be able to be part of the basketball team since Danny was on the same team.  The room began to spin and I cannot believe what she had just said.  I was not worried about her banning me from talking to Danny but the fact that I could no longer play on the team.  Now I don't have an excuse to be out of the house.  10th grade was gonna suck because I knew my mother would follow through on this punishment.  I remember one time her making me write some shit 10,000 times as a punishment.  It took me a week!

  

    The next day at school I broke the news to Danny.  Honestly he really could not understand why I was being punished for being his friend.  It almost made him feel like he wasn't good enough.  But when I told him about the basketball team he thought my mother was crazy.  I felt the same way because there was no reason to be punished as harshly as I was.  We both promised each other that they that we would be friends for the rest of our lives no matter what my mother did to prevent that.  We already had plans to a chill in the summer day camp that me and my younger brother Robert attended every summer.  So at least I had that to look forward to.  As the week ended everyone said their goodbyes the seniors ran through the halls screaming making a ruckus.  We felt good to finally be at the end of the school year.  The summer program opened up on July 1 every summer so we're really had two weeks until it opened.

     I Walked home the same way I always did every single day but today I wanted to stop in the library.  

Brooklyn Public Library across the street from my school

We had a public library right across the street from the high school which is pretty neat.  In the 90's the internet was around but not as popular as it is today.  I knew about it and I used to love to look up and lyrics to my favorite songs.  As I walked inside the library I notice one of my friends from the neighborhood Spanky was also on the computer.  I signed up for the computer and sat down next to him.  First thing he asked me was if I was attending a summer program and when was my last day of school.  I told him that day was my last day and me and my little brother would be attending and I was bringing one of my friends from school.  I looked up a couple songs but I was interested one my favorite songs at  that time. " We'll always love Big Poppa" by The LOX. 

"We'll always love Big Poppa" by The LOX

 I printed out the lyrics grabbed the paper and rushed home.  There was no doubt that my mother was waiting for me at the door.  As I walked in the house my mother asked to see my book bag.  She began looking through all the papers and searching the pockets, as if I was concealing something bad.  She then told me to take everything out of my pockets and that's when she found it.  She passed the paper to my sister and asked her what did it say.  My sister began to translate what was on the paper and my mother almost had a heart attack.  My sister was holding the lyrics to the songs I had just printed out.  She was translating the song "24 hours to live" by Mase,The LOX, Black Rob and DMX.  

"24 Hours to live" by Mase, The LOX, Black Rob and DMX

Inside I laughed about the translation but I knew that I was in deep shit.  Like I've said many many many times already my mother was extremely strict and even tried to control the music I listened to.  She said the Rap was for criminals thugs and drug addicts so it was not allowed in her house.  She ripped up all the papers and told me to give her my Walkman.  As I stomped my way to the room to grab it, my walking must have pissed her off because she shouted "Don't even think you are going to the program this summer.  You are spending the summer with your father in Pennsylvania.

to be continued.......

Just in case you missed the first three parts of the story and are reading this for the first time read all the rest here.

Part ONE

https://steemit.com/life/@mrviquez/the-foster-care-system-through-my-eyes

Part Two

https://steemit.com/life/@mrviquez/the-foster-care-system-through-my-eyes-pt-2

Part Three

https://steemit.com/life/@mrviquez/the-foster-care-system-through-my-eyes-pt-3

I hope you enjoy reading this post!!!!!!!

Until the next post

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