Do your relationships often involve unresolved conflict?
Dr. Stephen Karpman refers to your situation as being caught in a dramatic Karpman triangle or Karpman's triangle.
This schematization tends to convey the idea that when one person plays a particular role, like the victim, he or she inspires the other to play a complementary role, like the saviour or the persecutor.
When the protagonists play these roles rather than expressing their feelings and thoughts, communication is hampered and conflict may result.
Escaping these conflicts is certainly doable, and this is what this article will discuss.
What is the mechanism of the Karpman triangle?
Three roles in a triangle relationship are the focus of The Drama Triangle:
- The Assailant
The perpetrator harms the target.
A potential victim may react in one of two ways if the persecutor attempts to build up this relationship with them: they may take on the victim role or refuse to let it go.
In fact, the victim might bear some of the blame for the fact that they are or remain victims.
Disease or alcohol may be the persecutor rather than a specific person. This is the factor that helps the victim end up in this situation.
- The Sufferer
The rescuer who wants to save the victim is drawn to her.
Therefore, when one knows how to play it well, drawing attention to oneself becomes a role of choice.
It is a role that expects someone to be persecutorial, an expectation that others may or may not live up to.
Most frequently, the victim struggles with addiction.
- The Redeemer
It is a very satisfying role from a narcissistic point of view, but it renders the other incapable. This is the saviour syndrome.
He is waiting for a victim to save and a persecutor to justify his existence.
The "secret" to avoiding this dramatic triangle is to refrain from adopting the victim, saviour, or persecutor personas.
What steps can be taken to avoid taking on these roles?
One person must be superior, good, and better than the other in order for any of these roles to exist; the other person must be subpar.
We must learn to accept the differences and similarities between ourselves and others if we are to change this superior/inferior dynamic.
The other must be seen as a distinct person with their own qualities, skills, and flaws. Without passing judgement on the good or bad, accept the other.
disregard their own needs and preferences. Giving in to what the other wants, even if it hurts us, assigning blame to everyone and everything, and denying our true selves are all behaviours that place us in the victim role.
As a result, we experience passivity and helplessness, which ultimately keeps us from taking the necessary action to change our lives and make them happier, healthier, and freer.
We must be willing to accept the reality of our relationship with one another in order to avoid becoming victims.
In order to move forward, we must confront our fears.
Instead of placing blame, giving instructions and outlining our goals will help the other person break free from the victim role.
Additionally, we have a better chance of getting him to cooperate more.
This implies that we will speak up or take action if the other person does something we don't like.