How NOT to Behave on a Blind Date - Tips For A Blind Date

in life •  8 years ago  (edited)

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The biggest obstacle being that they may be theoretically blind, but before we even go, we’ve created scenarios in our mind. This may include how they may look or act , how they may react to how we look or act, how things may go, and our end result and exit strategy.

In fact, the very high failure rate of our blind dates may be directly related to these completely counterproductive preconceptions…

Set The Expectations To Neutral

You are going to meet a person. That's all. “Don't think it's going to be a waste of time, don't think it's going to be the universe bringing you your spouse. This is simply law of attraction at work. See the blind date meeting as information from the universe telling you what your vibe is like. Like attracts like so pay attention to your blind date. You can end up seeing a whole lot of truth about where you are in your life,” says Lisa Concepcion is the founder of LoveQuest Marketing, a personal development firm that applies proven marketing techniques and tactics to teach people how to find, give and keep love.

Have A Plan

When you call her to ask her out have a plan of what you would like to do on the date. “Even if you are just meeting for coffee, have a plan where you would like to go for coffee. When she sees you have taken the time to plan the date, it makes the woman feel special. If you ask her to plan where to go, she may think you are not able to make any decisions,” says Elliott Katz, author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man.

Dress To Impress

A great first impression is crucial in getting a second date. “Make sure your clothes are nicely fitted, ironed and clean! Clean up your haircut, nails and make sure any facial hair is nicely trimmed,” says Amanda Rose, founder/CEO of Dating Boutique.

“Assuming you are meeting your blind date for a drink at a bar or dinner at a restaurant my go to outfit would be a button down shirt in a print, like a navy and white check or plaid, not the plain white or light blue one that you wore to the office that day,” says Nicola Harrison Ruiz an image and style consultant and founder the of Harrison Style. Roll the sleeves a few times. Pair if with dark, slim fitting jeans, a brown belt and brown shoes. This looks dressed up but not business-like. “If you want to take it up a notch add a layer such as a quarter-zip mock-neck sweater that lets the shirt peek out, or a thin quilted zip vest — I like the ones from Barbour. Layering always makes an outfit look more intentional and put together,” says Ruiz. Save the suit and tie for a night at the theater, and save the T-shirt, jeans and sneakers for date three of four, when you go to a football game.

“The biggest mistake I see men making that can make them look overweight, sloppy and unstyled is that they buy clothes too big for them. I’m not suggesting you wear skinny jeans or skin-tight dress shirts but even if you’re a bigger guy either get some custom shirts that will be made to perfectly fit your proportions or get measured and try on the trim-fit or slim fit shirts. Too often I see guys wearing shirts that look like balloons and when they get properly fitted they look about 10 pounds lighter,” says Ruiz.

Arrive Early

You want to be the first one there so you get the home field advantage. “Get comfortable in the surroundings, and do something normal — like checking for email messages on your cell phone or checking Facebook,” says Chad Stone, author of The Love Magnet Rules: 101 Tips for Meeting, Dating and Keeping a New Love.

Relax

Nerves ruin more blind dates and first dates than anything else. “If you're not having fun, neither is she. And if she isn't having fun, you will never hear from her again,” says Stone.

But cut your date a little slack if they aren’t relaxing. Some people (maybe even you) aren't instantly comfortable and charming when meeting someone new. If there's any kind of spark at all, give it a chance to grow brighter, says Stone.

Keep The Conversation Flowing

Instead of having the surface “Where are you from?” or “What kind of music/movies/activities do you like?” you can break the ice with a fun question that will get both of you thinking while simultaneously opening the door to lots of interesting conversation, suggests dating expert Laurel House. Stuff like: “Two truths and a lie. I'll start.”

“The reason that you need to start first is because you need to be the example of your expectation. Tell two interesting truths that have a bigger story to them. When your date tells her two truths and a lie, and once the lie is exposed, ask her first about the lie — where did that idea come from? Her creative imagination can often say just as much about her as her actual life experiences. Now don’t just move on from the topic, dive into her two truths. Ask her the 'why' behind them. What is the story, the passion, the impetus, the lesson, the history, the feeling, the takeaway from the experience or fact,” says House.

Don't Get Too Personal

You probably shouldn't ask very personal questions on a first date. “What you want to do is to see whether you have any common interests, whether you laugh at the same things, and whether your values and goals are similar. If your date is interested in something that you don't know much about, ask her questions about it to show your interest in understanding what excites her. Don't be judgmental; be a good listener. Also, stay away from conversations about other women,” says Laura Lieff, president of Accentuating Service. Your date doesn't want to hear about your ex-wife or your ex-girlfriends — she wants to get to know you.

Good or bad, you always want to leave the date on a high note rather than when conversation goes dry or when the date has lasted more then an hour and a half, says Angela Jacob Bermudo, head matchmaker at PerfectArrangement.

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