Very sorry about everything you've been through (this is true, correct? or is this just creative writing?). Please don't allow anyone to have such a great deal of power over you. Your life is important and you have learn to love life even if it's not with the one you want to love it with.

I understand that being alone in life can be difficult. I'm not sure of your age (your picture, if that's you, looks mid 20s although if you were married for 11 years maybe early 30s) but you have to start creating a support group (and preferably with positive, levelheaded and stable individuals) so that you'll never feel alone again. You could start just by posting everyday here at Steemit and making connections with others if you really enjoy reading their content (if so make comments on their posts and let them know that you support them).

Also please don't do anything that is self-destructive (e.g., don't turn to alcohol or illegal substances). Only focus on doing positive things and strengthening yourself. Take up a few new hobbies maybe and do a lot of reading. Life is a big thing and there's so much in it and one should really and truly never be bored in life.

I read that you have a few kids so I understand that life is probably a little more complicated and not only do you have to be strong for yourself but also for your kids. Please do make time for yourself though and learn more about life and how it can be so great. I understand that in order to do things in life we need money first to live and then to experience life beyond the necessities. Well, you've found Steemit and here's your chance to write and find yourself and hopefully in the process make a lot of money too!