Mental Health: Spiral of shame, and small victories.

nerdfury (57) in life • 7 years ago

One of the downsides to mental health issues is that your real life gets impacted, and it's a constant spiral of things getting worse and worse.

Take me: I have depression and anxiety, fully diagnosed by a professional. Here's my spiral:

Mental health issues caused me to be very lethargic in my day to day doings, primarily the upkeep of my home and my debts.
My home is basically a mess. I haven't had people over for years, and generally pretend I'm not home lest anyone chance to see the inside.
Those same issues caused me to make some mistakes with my job.
They were also hard to control and caused some personality issues that I was only just starting to deal with and get better.
My employer terminated my position, because the mistakes alone weren't bad, but the mistakes with my personality issues were enough to err on the side of termination.
Because of my lethargy, I lost my job with some debts. debt
I am now unemployed, deeply in debt, and unable to afford to pay arrears for several large debts.
I had two broken taps, which started out as drips and soon became full blown geysers.
Because of my personal situation, I didn't want anyone seeing my home in its current state, so left the water as is.
Because of my financial situation, I couldn't afford to get it fixed anyway.
Because of the leaking taps, I can't sleep fully, so I'm irritable and tired all the time.
Because of the leaking taps, I got sizeable water bill.

So here's where the personal victory comes in: I get this immense water bill, and realise that I need to get shit sorted. I call a plumber, do as much tidying as I can, and he fixes the taps to the best of his ability.

Now, I've got no more leaky taps, a sense of pride in getting something sorted, and a newfound desire to get my shit together. I'm still unemployed and still have $15k of debts, but at least it's something to be proud of.

And when you've got depression, it's the small things that lead to the big things.

I do have a GoFundMe set up to try and settles some of my bills, so if you do feel like it, any donations would be gratefully appreciated.

life mentalhealth teamaustralia

7 years ago by nerdfury (57)

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7 votes

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timspeer (60) · 7 years ago

I can definitely relate to your story. I had something similar happen to me. It took me over 2 years to get back to even a functioning level and I am still in the process of getting better. Keep going!

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gyro (54) · 7 years ago

Respect for having the balls to post this, I fully understand the effect depression has on your life.

All the best with getting your shit together, keep us updated with the progress.

and post some more photos you've got some good skills there.

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1 vote

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excitemental (25) · 7 years ago

Mental health disorders such as depression go unseen.. Hats off to you for posting this.. Have a look at this related post to mental health illustrations and see if you agree with how they have been depicted https://steemit.com/art/@excitemental/creative-illustrations-of-mental-health-disorders

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1 vote

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mattclarke (68) · 7 years ago

Sorry, man.

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1 vote

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minnowpond (62) · 7 years ago

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