Loneliness is not only the absence of a half or friends, but also our closeness to the world. And it is also called one of the diseases of our era. How to deal with loneliness effectively, it is worth talking in more detail.
Advantages and disadvantages
Before dealing with loneliness, consider whether there are benefits to it. Some, in order to live fully, need to go alone to the mountains and meditate the whole vacation, and away from any society, and someone cannot live a day without communication. You are one of those, but loneliness overtook you: parting with your husband, a quarrel with friends, moving to another city, God forbid the death of loved ones ... and here it is, the gaping emptiness of loneliness. In fact, it can be filled with work on yourself, improving your culinary skills (and there a man will appear in life), reading, courses of anything and whatever you would like to learn. But there are more cons. With loneliness, distrust of others develops, it is contagious, because others become infected with a bad mood from a person who complains about his loneliness. And finally, scientists believe that loneliness leads to health problems and is no less harmful than addiction to alcohol, nicotine or sweets.
Causes
We are too selective in communication. There is no need to rush into communication with just anyone, but it also makes no sense to closely look for flaws in people either. Nobody is perfect, so it remains to put up with the shortcomings of others.
Laziness and selfishness. Any relationship, even family, even friendly, is the same work. And if you are too lazy to build it, then there is nothing surprising in being alone. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your interests, bend, give in and remember that this is not for yourself, but already for you.
Aggression, cruelty, tediousness, hysteria, quarrelsomeness and other character traits that can poison people's lives. This can and should be fought.
Unrepresentable appearance. You can be kind, non-confrontational and interesting, but an untidy appearance will spoil the impression.
Assertiveness in a relationship. When a person tries to overcome loneliness with all his might, it frightens others.
How to deal with loneliness
Love life and be open to it. You know that some couples envy the lonely: you have time to attend different parties, concerts, theaters, participate in volunteer organizations. And here you will definitely find like-minded people, and possibly your half. How else will people understand that you need communication so much? Smile, get to know each other, look for like-minded people wherever you go, smile sincerely at employees and cashiers.
Remember old connections. Surely you have elderly relatives who really need help and they are no less lonely than you are. Besides, why look for new friends when there are old ones. Perhaps your old college friend lives in an unfamiliar city? Search, rummage through phone books and social networks. By the way, the Internet can provide many opportunities for live communication. Take a look, perhaps today is a meeting or concert that is of interest to you. You shouldn't miss this opportunity.
Look for someone who needs your love. You can go to orphanages and nursing homes where people are so lonely, you can just help an elderly neighbor who lives alone and has broken her leg. Do you think it's easy for her? If your sister is raising a child alone, she will be glad to have your help, even if your relationship has not been easy before. Another good way to overcome loneliness is to get yourself a dog. No, this is not a friend for money, this is a living soul that will bring joy to your empty house. And it is also an opportunity to stay in the companies of dog lovers united by common interests. You don’t even need to take the dog to the exhibition, but just during walks in the park, couples often form and new friendships are formed.
Do not distort the image of yourself and others. The more you dig into yourself and blame yourself, the less people are drawn to you and the more difficult it is to communicate with you. Well. and do not look for enemies where there are no enemies.
Learn to communicate just like that. Often, old acquaintances remember us only when they start distributing cosmetics through a catalog or want to drag them into their business. By the way, this is repulsive. But you can call people and just like that, be interested in their life sincerely tell your news and funny stories. After a few minutes of communicating with such people, we relax and realize that nothing is required of us. Such people are attractive. Enjoy the conversation "just like that."
New hobby.
It can be a school of needlework or dance, culinary arts, environmental clubs. The main thing is that you are interested, and there are like-minded people.
What mistakes should not be made
Don't "eat" your loneliness. The problem will not go away, but extra pounds and health problems will appear, and this further contributes to the complex and obsession with their troubles. But invite old friends to a homemade cake or treat colleagues - why not?
Do not "seize" your loneliness with drugs and alcohol. They won’t save, but health is subrot.
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