^{You're now reading a sentence. It's a nice sentence. Check out this period.}

Pretty cool, right?

Look what I made:

Not Going Back In There

Exciting, right?

This is me, trying to take a break:

I attempted to sit in front of the TV today.

I hate commercials. I don't want to buy Tide today. Stop asking me to buy Tide every few minutes. Nobody else comes along and insists I buy Tide. If I had a friend like that, I'd be forced to tell them to either be quiet, or leave. I don't want to be rude, so shut up about your Tide.

Who smiles when they're doing laundry? Are they high from the Tide fumes? Did they take the pills the previous commercial was offering maybe? They didn't seem to be acting like they were suffering from a long list of side effects. What's going on here?

Now some other asshole is attempting to convince me that I should watch a different show. How can I do that when it starts at 7 p.m. on a Monday? I don't even know what day it is today. I don't have a time machine, and I don't plan that far ahead either. What if something comes up? Will this strange voice come back and start hounding me about where I was and who I was with? I don't need another control freak in my life. I mean, sure, I can help out, I can take a few orders; but I'm not the little magic talking box at the drive-thru, so don't treat me like one.

Fucking Tide again. Is this some kind of joke? Why did the Canadian wash his clothes in Tide? Because it's too damn cold out Tide. Everyone knows that.

I realize some suspension of disbelief should probably come into play here. How much of my consciousness are they asking for though? Am I required to be two leaves away from being a cabbage in order to enjoy this shit? Sure seems that way. I wonder why they would want to keep me in such a vegetative state of mind?

I better shut this thing off. Too many questions. Not enough answers.

I guess I'll do some laundry.

^Hmm.

Looks like I'm out of Tide. They were trying to tell me something. How did they know? Is this the future? Am I living in it? No wonder they call it a Smart TV. Now it all makes sense.

---

---

So I wrote down those thoughts.

^{I should have planned my vacation better.}

I read all of your comments.

I'll just keep posting stuff. I get so bored. That digital art, it's a hobby of mine. I enjoy doing it. That's how I stay calm. It helps me focus. That one up there might not be my best one but that doesn't really matter. There's no point in doing that and not sharing it here now that I have a blog that people actually look at. So what the hell? This is my life now. I'll just keep doing what I enjoy doing.

Those posts that were on the trending page that turned me off, I read the comments there. So many doubters. So many so-called 'experts', and of course a few trolls. So much negativity. They all act like they know everything. Based on what so many say, they obviously have no fucking clue I exist. They know nothing about what I've been able to achieve here. It's unfortunate that type of nonsense has to be on the front page for others to see and become discouraged when there are people here, like me and many others, who can say the opposite while basing it all on facts and experience.

If I step in to correct any of these people, it's like stepping into a lion's den.

Quite recently, I went to offer a witness one of my flags to test that theory. It was a post with one picture and no words and boosted up near the top of the trending page with bots. I found the source of the image, flagged the post because it did not include a source, included my reason for the flag in a comment, whatever, that shouldn't be a big deal. He cleared that issue up with words, words that should have been included in the post to begin with, then threatened to flag me in return but five times harder, before I even had a chance to respond. Undeterred, I decided to keep the flag there but changed my reason to a disagreement with rewards. That was my response. I figured, fuck it, go ahead and flag my posts, asshole. That incident as well as watching these jokers make fools of themselves on the trending page on a regular basis was all contributing to me wanting to just pack it in.

I don't give up easy though. I've been forced to quit important things in my past and I've always done it simply because I was unhappy and wanted a change. This blog and what I do here makes me happy though. I enjoy it. I'll just be the bigger person and those people can put on their show and act petty. That's the legacy they'll leave behind on an immutable blockchain. They have to live with it, I don't.

I said I was taking a break. I ended up just taking some time to think about things. I realize my vote is important to many of you. I know you don't depend on it but I know it makes you happy when you see it. I need to be here for myself, like I said, I enjoy it; but I think I enjoy helping people even more. It's hard to turn my back on you folks. I want to see people succeed. I feel bad on this end when I can't get to all of your posts or if I've exhausted my voting power for the day and have nothing left to give. I try to get other people to see your stuff. I've probably annoyed a few people by dropping links in their chat and saying, "Hey! I found a good one." Of course their votes are all tied up as it is and I know I'm stepping on toes trying to help people, but I do it anyway.

Someone left a comment under my previous post. Part of it went a little something like this:

It's as though many Steem users are experiencing the "bystander effect" (Someone else will take care of it. They don't need my help)

Triggered. Kind of...

That is not me at all. So common though. If you're not doing what someone wants, you're doing nothing at all. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. That's people for you.

I don't have any desire to sit around and brag about the good things I try to do. I do things, if they're good, great. If I've helped you somehow, you know I've helped you, that's good enough for me and I ask for nothing in return. I don't even feel comfortable attempting to get attention for helping people. I've held the door for plenty of strangers in my life. I never once started yelling, "Hey! Look at me! I'm holding a door for someone!" Most people don't even say thanks or look me in the eye when I do that, and that's okay.

So Yeah

^{That's probably enough rambling.}

Not many will read this post. It's designed in a way to only attract those who are interested in what I'm up to. I'm going to release it at a strange hour and remove the self vote just to get a taste of that minnow life again for a few minutes and see where it takes me.

P.S. I read all of your comments. I'm not ignoring anyone. I was just away for most of the day, thinking, and listening. Thanks for having my back.

Credits: _{All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "I can never make up my mind." [email protected]}

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