How To Be a Good Steemian: 2020 Edition

nonameslefttouse (74) in life • 5 years ago

^{Good afternoon or whatever the fuck time it is where you are.}

My name is Mr. Himself.

^{I'm your substitute teacher today because everyone quit their fucking jobs.}

NoNamesLeftToUse - Class.jpeg

Welcome.

^{We shall begin.}

Soon.

...

I seem to have misplaced my notes.

I swear I tucked them under my balls before I left the house today.

...
...
...

I know they're around here some place just, bear with me here.

...
...

Goddammit.

Jesus fuck I think they went right up my ass again.

I was bouncing all the way here trying to dodge all those potholes on your streets. I could feel something slithering on up there. Thought it was my lighter. It sure felt like a lighter.

You. What's your name?

Ned.

Ned? What the fuck kind of name is, Ned?

It means:

That's interesting.

Could you come up to the front of the class please.

Well come on now. Quit dilly-dallying. We don't have all day!

Closer. Closer. Stop!

So, Ned. Do you have a girlfriend?

Yeah, kinda.

Good.

I can trust you then. I'm going to spread my ass cheeks, and I need you to look inside.

Yes Sir!

Do you see anything?

I think I can see my future.

Everyone: Ha ha ha ha ha ha chuckle chuckle chuckle laughter!

Silence in my classroom!

Ned! This is no time for jokes. Now, did you come here to learn or am I just wasting my life!

I came to learn, Sir.

That's what I like to hear. Okay. Let's try this again.

Do you see anything?

Open wider, Sir.

Like that?

A little bit more, please.

I can't! That's as far as I can go. Dammit! Just reach inside and start feeling around.

Okay!

Do you feel anything, Ned. Anything at all?

Yes!

Well. What are you waiting for? Pull it out!

It's stuck. I can't.

Pull, Ned! Pull!

I'm trying!

Harder, Ned!

Pull!

arrrrgh!

Harder!

ahhhh! arrgh!

Come on Ned! You can do it!

Just a little bit more!

Arrgh! Coming!

What?!?!?!?!

I said it's coming!

I got it!

It's a lighter!

A lighter?

Yes! A big black Bic lighter. See!

Huh. A black one? That's interesting. I tore my house apart looking for that, last week.

Click click. Holy shit it still works!

My notes though. Where, in the actual fuck, did my notes go!

Is there anything else up there, Ned? Anything at all?

It's as clean as a whistle, Sir!

Thanks for the help. Please take your seat.

Ladies and gentleman, I apologize. I realize you've paid top dollar for this seminar but without those notes, I don't even know why I'm here.

Wait a minute...

Oh my god they were right here on the desk the whole time!

NoNamesLeftToUse - fin.png

Credits:All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me. NoNamesLeftToUse Outro.png

NoNamesLeftToUse Outro.png

^{^{All content within this blog is 100% organic ACTUAL CONTENT and contains no paid vote additives!}}
_{"What? Why are you looking at me like that? It was a comedy skit."}

^{© 2020 @NoNamesLeftToUse. All rights reserved.}

life funny art skit creativecoin palnet neoxian entertainment

5 years ago by nonameslefttouse (74)

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fenngen (66) · 5 years ago

That was actually hilarious, thanks for the comedy it was highly needed!

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

Thanks man. I needed it, too.

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lucylin (67) · 5 years ago

Well funny, matey.
We need some lightheartedness in these parts right now.

You might enjoy this...

Steem wars part 1..The Empire has a hissy fit.
https://steemit.com/hive-100421/@lucylin/nxkuvibq

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

Agreed.

I'll check your stuff out in a bit.

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acolucky (64) · 5 years ago

This class taught me how to be a better Steemian you fuckers.

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

It's about damn time!

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cloudspyder (59) · 5 years ago

Can't wait for the fart 😁 II...

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

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ryivhnn (65) · 5 years ago

I was laughing all the way through this, sniggering nonstop in the kitchen while making coffee and just burst out again when I sat down to finally give up on trying to say something intelligent XD

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

I somehow missed your comment! I'm slippin' again!

Wasn't that ridiculous though? W-T-F

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neoxian (70) · 5 years ago

Once again I must upvote an ass post.

Posted via neoxian.city | The City of Neoxian

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

Ass is my specialty.

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yahialababidi (68) · 5 years ago

You’re a nut & why not :p Desperate times call for desperate measures!

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

Nut was the perfect compliment today. Thanks man!

yahialababidi (68) · 5 years ago

Thank you, for the tickles :)

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belemo (72) · 5 years ago

Anytime something's missing, we always have to check with the asshole first. Some deep philosophy right here. DEEP!!!

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago (edited)

Ah ha! I see somebody's reading between the lines.

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belemo (72) · 5 years ago

Guilty ASS charged 🐎

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nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

Is that a future headline?

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belemo (72) · 5 years ago

Yes, as long as it's not the BUTT of the jokes in the office.

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oaldamster (68) · 5 years ago

Thank you, I've got a vivid imagination. Now how to unsee it again, that's the question.

Wonder what the teacher is going to do with that dark bic lighter.

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

I'd love to be able to hire some actors and produce this skit in video.

The teacher will just shove it up his again, for the next group of students. Truth is, he's not even qualified to be there.

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oaldamster (68) · 5 years ago

Think my brain already showed me way too much. Wont watch it myself, but it seems there is a market for these kind of video's. Maybe you could find some actors around here, some do come to mind as being fully qualified.

Apparantly the teacher loves pupils going way deep up his back end. Some might even fit completely inside that shithole.

Unfit for the job for sure, teacher should be sacked. Find himself a job in the adult movie realm.

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jk6276 (66) · 5 years ago

Is Mr. Himself actually Justin Sun?? That last post from @justinsunsteemit (since deleted) sounded remarkably like Mr Himself.

Maybe JSun used this post as inspiration?

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

I'm certain Sun is a huge fan of my work.

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michealb (66) · 5 years ago

lol

nonameslefttouse (74) · 5 years ago

Harder, Ned! Harder!

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steemitboard (66) · 5 years ago

Congratulations @nonameslefttouse! You received a personal award!

Thank you for the witness votes you made to support your Steem community and for keeping the Steem blockchain decentralized

_{You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking}

Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:

Use your witness votes and get the Community Badge

Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!

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por500bolos (68) · 5 years ago

My notes though. Where, in the actual fuck, did my notes go!

Hahaha... ¡Thanks for the cackling!...

Magic Zoom

...Ned!

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