Abandonment injury sufferers may have subtle attitudes that impact their relationships. We assess.
After a major trauma, many people dread abandonment. A emotion that makes us desperately strive to reconnect with those who rejected us and avoid more losses. Abandonment is emotional and physical. After divorce or death, a parent may physically abandon a kid. Abuse can cause emotional desertion, making the victim feel invisible, unheard, and undesired.
Although abandonment concerns are not clinical diagnoses, the more ingrained ones are often linked to anxieties, affective disorders, and emotional trauma. While abandonment dread is usually discussed in the context of a romantic relationship, it can emerge in various ways. Psychology Today lists 5 unexpected ways abandonment wounds might damage relationships.
People who become overly close to one person too quickly tend to go from one relationship to the next without much downtime. They may appear "clingy" and strive to create a new relationship soon to avoid rejection.
Being overly concerned about others' safety
Unresolved abandonment wounds might make a person hypervigilant about safety. She may continuously check that her friends have arrived home or be preoccupied with losing someone in a catastrophic or unforeseen incident.
The person checking in on them may make these people feel “trapped” and powerless, or controlled and smothered by their demands, which can lead to annoyance and contempt. The frequent urge to "check in" with others reduces the person's anxieties of abandonment but strains their relationships.
Being too sensitive to others' reactions
If someone is sensitive to others' reactions, they may become argumentative or defensive when given negative criticism because they fear desertion. Perfectionists and those with unreasonable self-expectations may be especially affected.
A worker who receives a simple comment from their superior may immediately internalise it as if anything is wrong with them and question their career. In close interactions, a friend, family member, or spouse may become defensive or critical when making a comment to compensate for feeling vulnerable and afraid. Rejection and abandonment occurred.
People who fear rejection or abandonment often have trust issues, especially in love relationships. They may constantly fear their partner will betray, leave, or abandon them, making them vulnerable and "clingy", "needy" or "demanding" towards them.
Their suspicions often prove correct. Unfortunately, many people who dread rejection and abandonment have had narcissistic partners or “friends” with toxic motives.
Borderline personality disorder patients may act impulsively towards others to test their loyalty or reliability. This is especially common if they value the individual being tested.
whether he fears abandonment, he may push away his best buddy to see whether they will help him. If so, he will have proof that this person will not desert him.
Some people test a new relationship by saying they'll never return if they leave. This can measure loyalty and emotional involvement. They may also cheat in a committed relationship to test whether the other person will "abandon" them.